:: Dwellings ::

Back!

2007-06-24T01:20:00.000+08:00

cheers people! it's been a while....!

Mum! Lights are on but nobody's home!

2007-02-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

The last time I blogged was almost 2-3 months ago. I have no excuses--although the blogger.com ban at my current workplace is a large contributing factor. The past 2-3 has been extremely eventful nonetheless, you can imagine-- New Year, Christmas, new research agency, new colleagues, night classes and social activities in-between. I can't share all of it. I don't remember most of it except for those which are inconvenient to say.

Yesterday browsing at the Borders bookstore, I came upon an interesting title at the counter. It reads 'Everything Men Knows about Women' by some Dr Jack Something. Ahhh...sounds interesting since i think a lot of men secretly knows alot more but like to feign ignorance. Curious, I picked it up only to discover that all the pages are blank....thinking it was some sort of a bad printing error, I was getting ready to alert the cute counter boy. But just to be sure, I picked up a second copy--that was blank too....AND THEN IT HIT ME. (told you the lights weren't on that day). But I had a good laugh nonetheless. Somebody's idea of a joke. Very clever. I really like it....

(Trust all of you have been well. )

Let's join hands to give a collective middle finger to all the bad drivers in the world

2006-11-21T21:24:00.000+08:00

Bad drivers is not a new phenomenon here in Singapore- you know who they are- fickle-minded drivers, last-second lane changers, no-signallers, speed demons, tail-gaters, road hoggers, impatient drivers, road blockers, drunk drivers and those who can't give way- they are a road hazard in themselves!

I consider myself quite fortunate to be sitting here and blogging after a car accident last night. Sitting at the rear of my friend's car last evening, we were travelling on the expressway when the car in front of us cut into our lane and stopped sudddenly in the middle of the highway. To avoid hitting him, my friend hit his brake hard only to be knocked hard by the cab behind - subsequently, causing a big pile-up jam for the cars behind.

Of course, as rear passengers you can almost imagine our rattled nerves although very thankfully, we were relatively unscathed otherwise. The boot of my friend's car was quite gone though. It was all crumbled behind and we barely made it through the highway before my friend had to call for the repairs and insurance. To make things worse, the driver (in front) responsible for all that mess sped off in a case of brake-and-run. We took down the car plate number though.

The point is, driving on congested road conditions is stressful as it is without bad driving habits. it's also why i sometimes avoid driving on unfamiliar roads and try to plan my routes in advance. (For the record, I drive my brother's car- Singapore is one of the most expensive places in the world to own a car and I don't plan to pay the government more than i already am) I'm not so much a planner-- but i'll rather do that then get cold feet on the roads. It's not fun at all.

I think if drivers work towards a safer and more considerate road culture, accidents and road rage (again a growing trend) can be greatly reduced. Alot of road accidents are entirely preventable-- you'll agree there are 101 better ways to die. But before that, here's a middle finger to all the bad drivers out there and a double for the car infront of us last night.

fuzzy logic 5-excuse me, am i in the right place or is this an office?

2006-11-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

Question:Why do girls have pink fluffy mirrors right next to their desktops?

Do they stop to check their reflection halfway through a report or do they stare at themselves while working? Whichever way, your reflection is unlikely to have changed from the time you left home and reached the office. This is a puzzling phenomenon. The thought of using a mirror as a spying tool however, is worth contending. Imagine you can use a mirror to check on the colleague on your left and on your right, or your boss when he's striding along the corridor- and if you are a guy, you can put it on the floor and wait for your hot boss in hot skirt to pass by, all without having even to turn your head.

Question: Why do people stuff their desks with soft toys, cushions, key chains and all things cuddly? A desk is a desk. It'll not turn into a bed no matter how stuffed it is. Unfortunately.

Question: Why do people stack piles and piles of documents and files on their desks? While I think it creates a false atmosphere of busyness and importance, it can be a great way to barricade yourself out of sight with the Great Wall of Files and Documents and maybe even from that sleazy spy with the pink fluffy mirror.

born on the 31st of Oct

2006-10-30T11:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN....AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! haha...2 dozen years old and still hopelessly SHAMELESS! Nat, you're shameless! My mother said my birth was a trick. I was born to scare. How could that be? Try telling her she's wrong. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! It's a treat positively. It's my mother's gift to the world and beyond.

Happy Halloween people- have a blasting good time!!!

fuzzy logic 4- What the fuck did he just say?

2006-10-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

At the time when i was in primary school and perfect score for spelling was a trendy thing to do- i was quite into words. I decided one day that I will learn a new word that 1. nobody knew the meaning to, 2. nobody knew how to spell and 3. was at least 3 syllable long. so that was a morning and as i was brushing my teeth, i saw that word in front of me- on the toothpaste tube- under 'ingredients' was the spectacular word- MONOCHLOROPHOSOPHATE- and hence was the birth of the new secret word that only I knew how to spell and understood.

I rehearsed that word in my mind for weeks and fantasized about the day that my teacher would ask the class who knew how to spell MONOCHLOROPHOSOPHATE or maybe ask who knew what it was. of course, in my fantasy-and fantasy was made up of different stuff then- i would be the one to shoot my hand and spell out the sacred word while the rest of the class look upon me in awe. To spell a word like that- wouldn't that just blow their mind?? What else can Nat not spell?

Days, weeks and months passed- and never once did my teacher proached anywhere near the subject. Nobody cared what the hell MONOCHLOROPHOSOPHATE meant. It was a useless word. So there at the tender age of 8 or 9 i learnt my lesson- big words don't matter when no one understands what the fuck it is. My time is really much better off learning vulgarities- at least it is cool, funny and almost always bring my point across. They are far more effective than the useless MONOCHLOROPHOSOPHATE.

Fast forward a dozen more years- in my work and at school i realised to my pride and horror that there are people out there in their 30s who have not yet learnt what a whizkid (ME! ME!) picked up at 8. An ex-colleague once told me how his boss would make everyone sit around the table and search for highly impressive words in a dictionary to include in her business report. She would make her team members sit for hours just finding those words.

My lecturer does that all the time too. He's a word flasher- every so often, he would drop a big-time vocabulary, far bigger than his threshold- pause for effect and then tell the class 'if i'm using too technical a term, let me know so I can explain.' -if it's so technical and he suspects we might not understand it, why use it? I would be far more impressed with someone who can describe complex terms in a layman's language, thank you very much. Luckily for us, no one humored him.

I suspect this is why legal documents are always cluttered with bombastic words- to con people. The idea is to get us lost in a mirage of big, impressive lingo mambo jumbo so that we feel harassed and can't be bothered other than to sign above the dotted line. God I hate lawyers/real estate/financial agents. Their job titles should really be 'conman/cheater/liar/fraudster.

My mother is very clever even if she didnt clock in the hours in school. Her lessoon- never wear a hat too big for your head- had stood the test of time. I wish I could tell that to the business woman, the lecturer and anyone else obsessed with big words they don't understand.

By the way, I came across a new word today called 'fucktard'- i don't know exactly what it means but it sounds very funny and i think it's short for 'fucking retard'- God, that's offensive. It takes a wicked sense of humour to come up with a word like 'fucktard'. what do you think 'fucktard' means?

::random::

2006-10-18T13:25:00.000+08:00

and.i.want.to.say
nothing fancy
just that
you've changed me
time.books.places.songs.people.you
live large
you're an experience
that will not fade
spark in your window
of soul
i can get lost
in the sweet song
silver blue
of your world
look at me
can you come close
closer
hello stranger
can you keep a secret
garden of thoughts

fuzzy logic 3- the power gas station

2006-10-13T14:52:00.000+08:00

All of you deserve an Up Yours for your great responses to fuzzy logic 2- we know now what they said about pens and swords aren't true. Remember always that the hand is mightier than the pen and the sword combined.

I want to tell you next about a man I saw at a bookstore sometime ago. Sorry girls, he was neither handsome nor striking- actually I don't recall his face except that he was tall, lanky and reading some mag (maybe porn) in the bookstore. What stuck in my mind was that he had let out a giant mother of a fart in the very crowded bookstore. It was embarrasing listening to it. And because I was standing within spitting distance of him (although I did not spit at him), I wanted so badly to laugh aloud. I wished somebody did just that- people should just politely acknowledge it- it may not be glamorous but farting is a way of life. Everybody farts, even babies (especially babies!). At least it's not one of those silent potent farts you wonder came from who and where that can knock the wind out of you. No! Instead, the people simply looked up from their books, scattered in all directions and returned to their books. As if what they were reading was that engaging. They were definitely pretending to read.

God bless you if you were ever caught in the same predicament as this guy- because contrary to popular belief, the ground will NOT open up and swallow you. You'll be firmly rooted to the ground- so if ever, you leak out the silent killer fart in a social setting- always, and remember always, to feign ignorance. Be oblivious, pretend it didn't exist, deny it vehemently, shake your head vigourously, say it wasn't you, say you've the flu, you can't smell anything- leave the situation ambiguous and act blur. Because if you own up, God bless you again, your friends will never, ever let you forget it. 12 years down the road, they will bring up your phenomenal fart at a gathering, party or maybe even tell your kids- because you see, making you look silly makes THEM, look cool.

If however, it was clearly audible, face the music bravely, own up first and then justify it. Do it like my brother does with a sweeping 'it's very healthy you know, this farting thing.'- Pretend that you're confident enough to laugh at yourself even if deep down, you just want to die. Just pretend- most people can't tell the difference anyway.

I don't know what happened to that poor chap in the bookstore. I'm sure he's still alive and still farting- I wish he'll never have to go through that again. Actually, it's biologically possible to withhold farts- just as one could withhold pee and poo- but maybe because he was reading at the same time- which would require him to multi-task, a skill that is predominantly feminine. Men can't and don't multi-task. it's too complex. If they look like they are, they are as usual, just pretending. Poor guy- there was really no way out for him- he has to live with it and the fact that somewhere, someone, is actually evil enough to blog about him...

fuzzy logic 2- the art of sign language

2006-10-04T16:34:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all your fucking candid responses to fuzzy logic 1. This goes to show that people who read compassionat are all really 1) sophisticated, 2) funny and 3) selective with their reading materials- indeed all of you will most certainly have a bright future ahead.

People may not be good spellers but they are very creative with vulgar words. just think of the word 'fuck' objectively, i know it's hard but just try- there's the person 'fucker', the adverb 'fucked up' the adjective 'unfuckinglybelievable' - and that's just one word we're talking about. i'm sure if you really crack your head, you'll find one other vulgarity you can do the same to. The next person i talk about bring profanities to a new league and you'll love her for that. I'm sure we've all had friends whom we never had to exchange a word and still feel we are really one and the same--by virtue of osmosis, you effectively read each others' thoughts. The fucking ties that bind.

Mitch (her fake ID so as not to ruin her life) and I have really this weird vibe going. She doesnt talk too much. when word fails her, as they always seem to, she use 'gestures' on me- just to name a few that I've been subjected to-- this includes the 'Up Yours', 'Rise of the Third Finger', 'CB' (don't ask me to explain that, i'll have to shut this down) and some other crude ones we should broadly classify as 'Unmentionables'. So we don't talk too much-- we just use the space between us-- to gestulate profanities at each other. It's like vulgar kungfu and we invent so many new moves Bruce Lee would pay to learn from us. It's very useful because it disarms your opponent without you needing to lose a strand of hair.

Mitch also gestulates at non-living things such as her PC. when she thinks I'm not watching, i'm actually eyeing her from the corner of my eye and i see her giving the PC the 'Rise of the Third Finger' and 'CB'--i always break out laughing when i see her doing that. i think that she has effectively reached the point of no return. Of course, publicly, she's a sweet angel--the one with the doe-eyes who would never kill a fly. Never in a million years will Mitch perform her stunts infront of anyone else. How could she....people will accuse her mother of doing a bad job bringing her up. Tis is socially unacceptable! or the all-time fave- you're a GIRL! But Mitch is really just being herself. She is a small man trapped in a small girl. People should just accept her-alot of warts and all.

(Mitch knows that i've blogged about her and thanked me for glorifying her.)

fuzzy logic-1 (i do not take responsibility of any ill feelings you may develop after reading this)

2006-09-25T19:45:00.000+08:00

Hello all, sorry i was out of action. I was previously stuck in a pile of shit as high as the former twin towers and I am so glad i'm so out of the fucking mess that i was in and i can already smell better days ahead. forgive my language--actually you don't have to- i want to know what it would be like if i were to throw all my manners out of the window and into the drain. And i think that it would be healthy once in a while to loosen the jaws muscles and shoot off your mouth and talk in a fuckingly vulgar and outrageously obnoxious manner. it's good to be politically incorrect. if politics is a pack of lies, then technically, to be politically incorrect is to speak the truth. Does this make any fucking sense to you? Listen, before you think I've fucking lost my senses, think again- I've not. I'm just conducting an experiment to see how people would react-- to hear someone they know to be awfully polite--and to have a blog like COMPASSIONAT speak like that?? (gasp! this is fucking unforgivable)--But of course that is not true--I'm still really a fucking nice person. But i just wanted to test reactions and see how people would react if someone they acted out of the norm--this is purely experimental. don't take it too seriously ok? And don't come msning me to check if i'm fucking alright cos I am. Now imagine if teachers spoke like that in class, you'll reallly have a class of fucking attentive students. Of course, the downside is that you'll breed a classful of filthy-mouthed kids- now, we won't want that would we?

The other experiment i always wanted to try was to spell all my words wlongly and cee if peeper can slill make cense of my clap. most of the time, they slill do. peeper are reallie smart. some peeper more tlan others but genellary we are all interrigent beings. infact you could have no cense of sperring and slill have peeper unlerstand perfractly what you ar talking about it lenders the written word ledundant.

Finally, the last experiment i wanted to conduct--but i can't anyway because i left the night safari 3 years ago-was to give a really vulgar tram commentary. see i was a tram commentator and i always thought, how nice it would be to just capture the expression of a person when you speak in another tongue-one very different from the way you look.

The commentary would have been something like that: good evening fucking ladies and fucking gentlemen. Welcome to the world's first fucking night safari. Before we began the ride, i've three fucking rules to share with you....Now wouldn't that be original? Or would that be suicidal? But to see that scandulous look on all the guests' face and have that stunning commetary forever embedded in their memories? Priceless. The night safari, by the way, is a great place.

Now, this feels so fucking good it's thereaupetic. Go on. Try this at home.

(Think back now what was the first thought that came into your mind when you heard me talking like that?) Apologies if you fell off the chair reading this-- because the Nat you know is polite to a fault. I'll bet you 2 posts that you've forever changed the way you thought of me--although it took me 2 years to make you believe that i really am a sweet angel. Gee, the things i do in the name of research and experiment).

Crikey! you are dearly missed!

2006-09-10T14:17:00.000+08:00

Watching the marathon tribute to Steve Irwin last night on animal Planet, it finally dawned on me what a great, funny, genuinue and intelligent conservationist he was-in short he was a rare breed. His passion and ethusiasm was so infectious i felt immediately connected to this man- watching him on TV, his larger-than-life persona it really is hard for me, and anyone for that matter, that the great Steve Irwin is dead- even using this word is difficult. Here's a man who really embraced life doing what he loved most while at the same, educating the public in the hope that one day, we could play a role in nature's conservation. He has forever changed the way people thought of animals. There will never be another who can match his personality, his passion and the profound effect he has on animal kingdom and to those who have watched him. Beyond that, he really was a very special man who lived and walked his cause. My most heartfelt condolences go to his wife Terri, his family and those who have worked with him. Carry on his good work and let's keep his spirit alive!

did you forget to be nice?

2006-08-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

did you forget to be nice today? It's so easy to forget that isnt it in the hectic, frenzied context of work. I wish i could say this to someone at work...infact, i wish i could tell her that everyday for the pass few weeks. To tell her that it's nice sometimes to be decent to another person, as a matter of courtesy from one human being to another. It drives me crazy having to put up with that kind of bitchiness at work.

Don't forget to be nice today.

Zidane you ironhead and man of steel...

2006-07-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

Why you did what you did is beyond me. But you always have the benefit of my doubt. What a charmer!

Mobile Blogs

2006-05-28T17:50:00.000+08:00

Dear bloggers,

Calling out to all bloggers and techno-geeks, I would like to hear your opinion on this.

Can I have a quick show of hands how many of you here have heard of mobile blogs- posting entries and pictures via handphones? During my research for blogging, i briefly came across this feature and would like to find out more. I believe mobile blogs are currently available in some countries i.e US but users are still a relatively niche group. Correct me if i'm wrong.

Has anyone ever tried using mobile blogs? What are the pros and cons of such a service? For those of you who have never heard of such a service, is it something you would like? Personally, I don't think I would take so well to the service since my entries are often too long to put thru a mobile phone. But that's just me. I'm still new to this whole concept and I would like to hear more takes on this. That's where YOU come in. Let me know!

Thanks guys!

from the himalayan kingdom and back (part II)

2006-04-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

I left you on my last entry about my experience in Nagakort. It's been more than a week since I left Nepal and my heart is still firmly there. Buried. I can't get over the place. None of the places I've visited has ever made me feel sad to leave. The funny thing is that I knew nothing about Nepal before I went and now, after the trip, I'm still none alot wiser but it has made me so conscious of all that's going on in this little 'extraordinary' country- as described by lonely planet. It's no rocket science to figure why Nepal is so extraordinary.

Strangely, I probably would not have given the protests and curfews a second thought, if not for the fact that it affected us in such a big way while we were there. The mobile and international lines were also severed so that I was unable to contact my loved ones until close to the end of the trip- (it became something of a reality when one of us joked that snail mailing would be more efficient). But in a way I'm glad all that happened, happened. Everything happens for a reason right? We were in Kathmandu at a time of instability and unrest and since then, the situation deterioriated considerably. But at least for now, after 3 weeks of turmoil, the dust seemed to have settled abit and things are looking calmer with the king agreeing to step down. I don't know the full story but I hope the country is on a rebound and life for the very nice locals I've met will return to normacy.

********************

The night before, together with my friends, I drank an itsy bit of red wine which helped me sleep a whole lot better. We wake up to a stunning view from our balcony. Glorious.

You know it's going to be a Good Morning! when you're sipping a cuppa of Nepalese tea to this. Indulgence!

As the day wears on and the sky clears up, the Himalayas comes into full view (you'll have to look closely to see that in the picture above). Where the mountains and the skies meet. Surreal.

Above, our group watches the local news as we find ourselves in the midst of another discussion of our options- leave Nagakort and head back to Kathmandu or stay? We did some trekking and returned to the resort where I have some quiet time with man's best friend.

This is a really good dog. I think it belongs to the resort owner. Very chill-out dog. More chill out than me. You have to be if you stay in Nagakort.

After Nagakort, we arrived in a curfew-free Kathmandu-although that too didn't last, it was long enough for us to visit Dubar Square - 'the open-air musuem' and do a bit of shopping at Thamel- the main tourist shopping district in Kathmandu.

Fast forward the trip- There was alot of disappointment about not being able to see Pokhara and Chitwan National Park due to the on-going conflict and curfew there. But hey, at least we got upclose with the world's highest peak. No, we didn't climb Everest, we took a shortcut by Buddha Air. (Amazingly, just about everything there is called Buddha, Everest or Yeti i.e Everest bank, Everest Beer, Yeti Airlines etc..)

The Himalayas....

And Everest..

*********************

The Everest flight, the one that burnt my pocket through and through, was also easily the highlight of the trip. It would be fair to say I broke my bank on this trip. But then again, I'm laughing to another kind of bank. To see the full range of Himalaya in all its splendor was an other-worldly experience. To describe it would be cheapening it. I hope the pictures translated the thrill that I felt. In short, I LOVE VACATIONS. They are the favourit-est thing I like to do. It really frees my mind and allows me to focus on what is directly in front of me- be it a mountain, a sunrise, a riot or what not. It's extremely liberating! We've made some small talk about a trekking expedition in Nepal. I hope it materialises.

I'll round this post with the very charming man we met on the Everest flight- he, whose name I stupidly did not get, is an Everest climber who hails from Greenland. He summited Everest on his second attempt without oxygen till 8,300m.

He is also incredibly modest....

*****************************

from the himalayan kingdom and back

2006-04-19T21:20:00.000+08:00

Namaste everyone! It feels good to be in familiar territory. Thanks to all those who send me greetings and well wishes in the time that I was in Nepal- I needed all that luck.

I returned on Sunday night from one of the most unusual trips ever! Imagine a holiday where your hotel was attacked by protestors, the streets were sometimes empty except for the militants roaming on the roads, you flew out on a rescue helicopter and you wake up every morning waiting to discuss your 'options' about where can you possibly go??? For most, that would fall way short of a dream holiday. Yet despite all of that, I left Nepal with a very heavy heart and a determination that I will return again. And soon. In my 7 days there, I've grew very fond of the country, its uniqueness, its people, its mountains, its simplicity, it's steep traditions -it really is a special place. Every Nepalese should feel so proud.

***********************

The above pic was taken from my hotel room on the first day we were there. By this time, the king had implemented a curfew forcing all the locals to shut their stores and stay indoors. Unfortunately, the tourists were not spared either.As the political unrest grew, the curfew would boil over to Chitwan and Pokhara, two other hot tourists hubs.
The next day, our bus was stopped by a group of militants on our way to another hotel. I took this picture from where I was sitting- at the back of the bus. A protest ahead had blocked the roads and we were not allowed to pass through. We had to unload all our luggage, drag it through the protest and to the hotel which was about 15min away.

The walk past the protest was both exciting and unnerving. Somehow, I didn't think the locals would hurt us. They were not after us. Below, the splendid view from our next hotel, Hyatt Regency makes it all worthwhile. We kept our spirits up. (From left, Guan Da, Frida, Marcus and me. Prior to the trip, I had only known Frida. In the time we were in Nepal, we very quickly formed a bond with 4 other tour members. On hindsight, the trip would have turned out very different if not for them.)

We managed a short trek to the stupa- a beautiful temple adorned with colourful prayer flags. The pair of eyes, can be seen from all four sides of the stupa- locals believe that it watches over Kathmandu. In one of the photos, the locals lined up to pass pails of waters to help out in the renovating of the stupa. Talk about teamwork!Meanwhile, the local children playing around the area provided for many kodak moments. Here, a man sits and takes a quiet moment. The stupa is alot to take in!

But not all is well back in the hotel. The next morning, the Hyatt sign is gone, the guard house was smashed and there was no nothing on the streets but rocks and rubble.

On the same day, the group makes a decision to fly out of Kathmandu to the hill resort in Nagakort. Land transport was out of question given the protests and curfew. The helicopter ride was quite an adventure in itself. We arrived on Nagakort, which is about 2,300m(?) above sea level. Even as chaos boil below in Kathmandu, there was none of that in Nagakort. Below, I love the shots of this family- one of the first ones we saw upon landing. Gradually, we even became quite acquainted with them. There was a lovely little motel cum restaurant that we discovered by chance- such a charming place overlooking the valleys. I love their lemon grass tea- it's hand-picked mind ya!A short walk brings us to a charming resort where we had some great, great, local food. In the evening, the temperature drops to 7 degrees- the coldest I've been exposed to. Our solution? We warm up easily to a glass of wine, card games and alot of laughter.

*****************************

And I'll leave you for now with these parting shots. In my next post, I'll tell you about Nagakort's sunrise and an upclose and personal encounter with Mt Everest. Cheers!

Collages

2006-04-02T13:50:00.000+08:00

Looking through my old scrap books last weekend, I stumbled upon some treasures- namely snaps of my days as a geeky teenager, interning in the zoo. The stint was 6 months long...and I was assigned to the public relations dept. As you will later find out, I was I 'PRing' more with the four/no legged than the two-leggeds.

The snaps are not very clear- these are 'secondary photos' if you know what I mean. But my memories are still clear. So allow me take you through this very memorable journey in 2002. I love to re-live those days!
The scrap book starts off with a postcard I got while serving time in the zoo...(One of the best things about working in the zoo is the amount of cutsy freebies you get. Until today, I still keep loads of animal-theme postcards, stationery, post-it pads..)

Orang Utans are some of the most people-friendly animals...so alot of my animal encounters were with these primates. Suria (below left) was a very popular 4-year-old orang utan when I first met her. She was still a baby then, so I could carry her but I always remember how strong she was. Once we took her out of the zoo for some conservation event, and she was almost ripping the metal bars inside the van apart. Scary. But she's still a lot milder than Chomel (below right), know for her temperamental mood swings.

Here Suria is with her Mum whom I think was very curious about the bracelet I was wearing. We were preparing to take a shot but she was fiddling with that bracelet the whole time. Our closest kin, they are incredibly human-like. Really intelligent.

Then then there was Town, who I believe must be one of the oldest resident of the Singapore Zoo. Very handsome and gentle. Whenever I arrive for work early, I would go to the petting zoo corner to feed him some carrots and sugar cubes.

Probably the craziest thing I did during the internship was entering the cheetah's cage. Some thought I had a death wish but they are really like your dosmetic cats. At least this one was. It helped that I was on good terms with the cheetah keeper. I literally had to beg him to let me in. but he did cave in eventually and even took this shot for me. He must have taken at least 20 other shots but this is one of my favourite. Cheetahs are truly spectacular animals. They are so sleek and so agile and truly truly great looking. They also have huge, fearsome looking yellow- green eyes.
The cheetah is so at ease with her keeper.There are plenty of new births in the zoo. And it's big news everytime a new baby comes along, especially endangered species. This time round, it's a new baby goat.

And there's the huge Burmese Rock python which was nearly as heavy as me. They really coil around you and make themselves cosy. Snakes are not all that bad, even if the movies make them all to be scary, slimy creatures. The truth is, they are not at all slimy. And these are extremely cool, calm and collected animals. And really, they can't be less bothered about humans- in fact, i think their attitude towards humans sums up how things work in the animal kingdom. Leave them and their habitats alone and they are more than happy to leave you alone.
There are still loads of other snaps from the zoo, but these are amongst some of my favourites. Besides all these fond memories, I've also met some of the greatest people in the zoo- the keepers. I really admire all those keepers who take care of these animals. Their jobs must be some of the toughest, most important jobs in the world!

Nepal, Ready or Not here I come!

2006-03-23T11:09:00.000+08:00

Sorry, I've been so lousy with blogging lately. I miss it so much, to be honest. Since coming back from Bangkok, I had some days to rest before I hit the ground running again with work. And then I just got carried away in this whirlwind. Hectic!

What perks me up now and gets me out-of-my-skin excited is thinking of my trip to Nepal on April 8. Planning since Jan 06, this trip was a long, tough decision. I have a lot of doubts going there. Namely, the cost, the fact that I'm joining a tour group (I actually prefer free and easy trips and have never joined groups before. But I guess Nepal is different.) and that, it's infact, not the safest time to go- at least according to the papers. Again, I'm not sure how to sift out the news anymore. But my doubts were more than compensated by three other bigger factors- One, I want an adventure. Nepal is a big novelty to me, in particular Kathmandu, an ancient crossroad that completely appeals to my wanderlust. Throw in Pokhara, another scenic destination in Nepal and I'm sold. Two, my very good friend from polytechnic organised the tour and I am bunking in with her on this trip. Three, I like the itinerary- it's a good mix of sight-seeing (80%) and shopping (20%). The trip will also end off perfectly with a 2.5days stop-over at Bangkok- with just me and my friend. It would be my 4th time to Bangkok and my friend's 1st! All in, this trip will take 9 days, (1 week in Nepal, 2 days in Bangkok)- I can't extend it any further given my work commitments and of course, financial restraints.

My parents, as usual, are not very excited about me going on this trip. But they usually resign, knowing how stubborn their daughter can get. I think they'll never, EVER, be comfortable with me going ANYWHERE even when I turn 50. They do however, find comfort in the fact that there are 19 of us in the group- safety in numbers?- and we'll be following a very well-trained Nepalese guide. In my mind, this should be quite a trip- maybe the kind people describe as 'once in a lifetime'. I will definitely post loads of pictures when I return, so do come back :) Ready or not, Nepal, here I come!

sa-wa-di-kup!

2006-03-12T13:05:00.000+08:00

Just returned a few days ago from a short trip to Bangkok. Travelled with my family...so that was a bit stressful. My parents, mould from 40-50 years of habits, found it hard to adapt to the food and surroundings. Strange...because in so many ways, the city reminded me of Singapore. Unfortunately, we were not there long enough to enjoy all that Bangkok has to offer and immerse in their colourful culture.

The highlight of the trip would undoubtedly, be the bumpy, wet boat ride along the river...i forget the name now, other than we boarding the boat at the Shangri-La pier...getting on board was quite a balancing act. The lady in white, by the way, is my mum. She nevers lets me take a picture of her...
That's me in cap and my younger brother at the start of the ride which brought us along the river where we saw all these magnificent temples...built out of much love and reverence.

Prettly little houses line up alongside the river...People there get around in their little boats.
Some get by selling their ware to tourists like ourselves....i was definitely very impressed at their 'boat shops' and boating skills. They row their boats right alongside ours and attempts to sells anything from fruits to sovenirs.. There were too many temples to stop by and too little time. We opted to stop by the Tha Tien pier... where the Wat Pho temple is located nearby. In it, the magnificent Reclining Buddha resides...
I was in awe as soon as I stepped into the temple. Apart from the sacred atmostphere, the Reclining Buddha, a splendid sight to behold, takes up almost the entire space of the temple- The head alone almost tips at the temple ceiling. Measuring 46 metres and 15 metres, it is covered entirely in fine gold leaf. It is a perfect, loving work of art. Unable to capture the statue in its entirety, I took a snapshot of a postcard I bought from the temple.
Even, the soles of its feet are elaborately decorated with mother-of-pearl desgins depicting the 108 auspicious signs of the Buddha. Intriguing isn't it?I'm neither Buddhist, particularly religious or spiritual but I definitely left the temple with a more open heart and mind then before I entered it. I guess that's what travelling is all about.

new template

2006-03-08T15:08:00.000+08:00

I'm so sick of pink..so there, this is my new template for compassionat.blogspot. Funny how a template seems to give another perspective. I like this one better now. It's clean and minimalistic, and less girly- girl like the old one. I'm not that girly-girl anyway.

You know of any other great sites for blog templates, let me know.

Cheers,
Nat.

:: skeletons in the closet ::

2006-02-13T19:47:00.002+08:00

I have been thinking about how to blog this without losing some friends along the way. My former lecturer just got married to his ex-student. I've met the bride on one occasion before the wedding. Great lady. Pretty, friendly and a very giving person. My lecturer? He is a man I looked up to and whose lessons I always anticipated. He loved a good discussion and every once in a while, tries to stirs that within his student to think beyond the surface. What I liked most about him was that he always kept a very open disposition where he makes things very clear from the start- how he would grade us- very strictly, that is- and all those things that other lecturers really couldn't be bothered with. He was like a friend to most of us. Infact, he would call me sometimes and we could chat up to an hour at length.

Things began to change when it became apparent that he was looking for more than a friendship. This, despite the fact that we were both seeing other people and that he was a good 20 years older than me! Obviously, nothing of that sort ever materialized. I never reciprocate and grew cautious of his intentions. When it became clear there was no room in the romantic department, we sort of became ok friends again. Just no more long chats. He would keep in touch with me once in a while and he even tried to land me an intern position in a well-know media company. That was quite some time back and we kept in touch sporadically. Then, last month, he sent me an email to announce he was getting married to his long-time girlfriend. I attended the wedding, which was a rather intimate, elaborate affair. I was the only student from my school to attend.

The wedding was all nice and dandy and all the sweetest things. But imagine my surprise when I found out during the wedding that he had infact, been married before and had 3 kids from his previous marriage. All this while, the phone conversations, never once had he broached the subject of his kids nor his former marriage. 3 kids is a big, big secret to keep. How naive of me to think I knew him well. We always had the impression this was a man who was too pre-occupied with his work and not really seriously dating. So that was a shocker. I still respect this man alot- he had the smarts, had loads of character and is doing very well for himself. What I could not get over was how well he concealed his skeletons and his reasons for doing so. This incident definitely jolted me abit and let me rethink about trusting people so easily again. Talk about beyond the surface.

North Country

2006-02-02T11:08:00.000+08:00

...was a heartbreaking movie to watch. Charlize Theoron does not disappoint. What was disappointing was the movie's abrupt ending. The built up of the plot simply fizzled towards the end, as though the director was in a rush to finish the movie once the two hours were up.

Still, it was good to see Woody Harrelson on screen again. Not your best looking actor but I've always been very fond him since his character in Cheers.

what do you do...

2006-01-21T00:03:00.000+08:00

when your bosses ask you to do a presentation on blogging? It's what our company calls 'knowledge sharing session' and that's what it is exactly. We are 'ranodmly' selected to present on a topic given to us. While its an open secret that I keep a blog, I haven't exactly shared with any of my colleagues about my special site. All except for one. She should feel so lucky. I like this space to be private, but yet public, do you know what I mean?

Back to the presentation again- I've some ideas floating in my head about what to say and all that but I would really welcome some ingenious ideas from the rest of you bloggerheads.

Loving well

2006-01-11T15:54:00.000+08:00

" I've always loved her alot although I didn't always love her well."

- Bill Clinton on Hillary (on the Oprah Winfrey show)

What a statement. How many of us know what Bill Clinton is talking about? I'm so guilty.

Bye Bye BHDs.

2006-01-06T12:52:00.000+08:00

My hair is finally starting to look like its former self after all that hair mishaps of 2004. Yes, it took one year, the whole of 2005, to reverse all my stupid hair mistakes. One year of cap-wearing and pony tails to playdown one too many bad hair days. Doesn't help that for almost the whole of 2005, I was reminded of all my hair disasters everytime I look into the mirror. Too bad, I wasnt born a guy or I might just go bald. :-)

Pre-2004, I've always kept very long hair. It's just one of those things- you had a bad tomboy cut when you were 12 and swear never again to go down that road. That changed in 2004 when I decided to do something radical- change what I thought had become such an inherent part of me. Feeling brave, I had gone for a haircut and when I thought it wasn't short enough, I hit the salon again. My friends thought I was going nuts. This time, I chopped it just below the ears. That is ALOT of hair to cut. (It's 2006 now and I still don't know what I was thinking then.)

I grew more and more adventurous with my hair-experimenting. Soon after, I dyed it reddish-brown, changed my mind in a month or two, and dyed it brown. Somehow it came out very uneven (DIY disaster) and turned somewhat blond after a few washes. (I actually have a picture here. Funny I didn't burn it.) I hated it. When it started to grew out abit, my friend recommended me to this artsy-fartsy (more fartsy, really)hairdresser. He layered my hair so zealousy, I had nothing much left by the time I left the salon. I walked out pretty devastated.

To disguise the lousy cut, I decided to experiment with curls. So I did the perm thing. It was all nice and dandy at first. I liked the carefree curls. But that too did not last. In about 3 days, my hair was back to its natural poker straight again. By then, the damage was done. My once shiny head of glory became nothing more than a bunch of parched grass. Yes, it was a series of bad hair decisions and there was nothing more that I could do then to look back at old photos where my hair was once glossier and shinier...nothing more to do but to wait ..wait and wait some more.

One year and lots of conditioning later, my hair is finally starting to look less like parched grass. I think for now, I'm quite happy to just leave it alone.

(Your hair must have grown another inch in the time that you took to read this. Thanks for indulging me. I never knew I had this much to talk about, of all things, hair!)

2005 in 20/20

2005-12-28T17:22:00.000+08:00

In 2005, I've committed some crimes:

Guilty of:
- Procrastinating. What can wait till tomorrow will get done the day after tomorrow.

- Not planning my annual leave properly. It's year-end and I have 12 days (out of 18) of leave left! Not that i'm complaining but they could have been put to better use such as filling up the gaps in between the holidays and proloooonging the holidays.

- Letting my guard down by revealing too much. Better to shut the duck up and keep those eyes and eyes wide open. (Did I just do it again?)

- Cluttering my room. Bad idea to bring work home. Too much shopping, too little space. Ants and various species of spiders are calling my room home too.

- Taking for granted my loved ones. This takes the 'Biggest Crime Of The Year Award'.

But In 2005, I also did some things right-

- Joining the force to become part of the research team.
- Setting up this blog and meeting all you crasy, like-minded bloggers
- Expanding my social circles and meeting lots of new friends.
- Learning a new skill- Moderating. And attending lots of courses related to market research.
- Writing three articles for a local magazine. These got published and I was paid. Not the fattest cheque but I get a tremendous kick from seeing my name in print.
- Making it a point to keep in touch with friends from different points of my life.

There, what a year this has been! Lots of downs too but sometimes you need to roll with it to really appreciate the ups. Geez, I wonder what 2006 has in store..

Hope 2005 has been a stellar year for you too.

Cheers,
Natalie

Go Bald

2005-11-30T14:43:00.000+08:00

Two days in a row, I've noticed this man with a striking shaven head while on my way to work. Striking because he has a nice head shape and because his bald head really sticks out prominently from a crowd of crowning glories.

Anyway, I saw him this morning again. Because he was right infront of me and I had nowhere else to look, I got a good close-up of his head. This guy is positively balding somewhere in the middle. You can tell because that patch looks different from the rest of his scalp. Now I'm not trying to be mean seeing how balding and receding hairlines can have a devastating effect on a young man but I just think it's so cool to go for the perfectly shaven look when you're at the edge of losing it all. It's an ingenious solution.Get rid of the balding look and look good at the same time. It also tells of a confident man who knows he doesn't need a head full of hair to look good.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think balding men are attractive. The key word here is 'bald'. So to all the young balding men out there, my advice to you is go bald.

Go totally bald.

maid in singapore

2005-11-03T18:44:00.000+08:00

I've never agreed with the concept of hiring maids. To me, it's not much different from legalised slavery. The maid leaves home to a faraway place only to come to a foreign land where she has few or no friends. Her salary is small and most of the money is remitted home or paid to the agent who brought her here. Often, they are separated from their own kids and suffering from homesickness. In short, it's a sad existence. Some of them do establish a better life for themselves here (largely depending on how good or bad her employer treats her) but for the most part, they're lonely, earn little and work long hours.

Unfortunately, hiring maids has become a very common practice here. In most homes where there are young kids, you'll usually find a maid, sometimes even two. Parents basically spend most of their time working, earning a living. Parenting takes a toll and is often left to the maids to take care of, on top of her cleaning and cooking duties. Unlike babysitters in the U.S, the maids here are hired on a full-time basis and live in with their employers.

It has come to light recently that some employers are installing video cameras in their homes to check on what their maids are up to while they're away at work. Employers here rationalise that it's the right thing to do, saying that's it better to be safe than sorry. What a ridiculous comment. If you'll rather be safe than sorry, why even bother with a maid? Why not just look after them yourself or get your parents, in-laws to help out? By installing a camera, you're blantantly telling the maid you DON'T trust her! It's no different from pointing a camera at an employee in the office. You invade her privacy and worse, you send a clear message that you don't trust the lady who looks after your kids. This is wrong on so many levels.

Maids take care of their employer's kids. If parents must hire them, they might as well treat them well so that they in turn, treat the kids well. Give them their once-a-week break, decent lodging and let them eat with the family, not the left-overs. Also, I've witnessed so many incidents of kids yelling at their maids, I'm embarassed. Kids ape their parents and I'm pretty sure they picked up such bad behaviour from the very people who were supposed to their role models. What an utter shame.

kick ass boots

2005-10-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

Tis the season for boots! Deprived of winter, boots are never a common sight here in tropical Singapore. Infact, I've never been a boots person until this one. When I first laid eyes on these, all logic went out the window and I sucummbed to my impulse. I had to get it! Despite it relative bulkiness, they are pretty versatile and go well with both jeans and skirts. Who cares if my brother thinks it makes me look like a construction worker or that my boss thinks it most suited for Eskimos living in igloos???

So, here they are, my kick ass boots. Now, I just a need a nice occasion....

google it!

2005-10-15T12:38:00.000+08:00

I've been exploring the world recently..on Google Earth. If you havent already heard about it, it's this amazing site when you can see literally every corner of the world in stunning 3D satellite images. Go to www.googlearth.com, download the set up and you're good to go. You'll bascially see something like the pic on the top left. Search for any location in the world and you'll get an aerial view...go closer, and you can rotate the picture to get a 360 degree view. The images are truly spectacular. It's humbling to see how small we all are in the grand scheme of things.

While i'm really flabbbergasted by this great technology, there has been a lot of negative publicity about it, mainly because of security issues it poses. Many are speculating that the site will be close soon. My guess is that it won't be around for too long. I hope I'm wrong..but in the meantime, happy exploring!

:: hanging out ::

2005-10-13T18:32:00.000+08:00

Hanging out with my closest friends from polytechnic, we always have the greatest time together. These photos were taken in Chijmes (Singapore). Frida, in yellow, Me and Sheena.

da vinci uncoded

2005-09-29T11:09:00.000+08:00

Don't laugh but I finally got my hands on the much talked about DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. Half of the world's reading population must have already read it. The book was passed on to me by my boyfriend who usually never gets pass reading the synopsis at the back cover. Full of praise for the book, he had urged me to read it. Truth is, Da Vinci Code got so famous, I feel slightly embarassed reading it in public places. Cliche, you know. But I wanted to check out what the hype is all about.

You may or may not like the book...(depending on your beliefs???) but I was definitely very impressed with how Dan Brown has so cleverly fused fact with fiction and post some of the most intriguing topics in such a friendly and readable format. A master of the word, his writing is brilliant. The plot is complex and engaging...but at some point, the skeptic in me thinks it's just a tad bit far-fetched. The ending answers some questions while leaving others to your imagination. Some mysteries are more tantalising when left unsolved. Somehow, the plot is very clever like that- the questions are raised, even if there are no answers.

Opus Dei, The Holy Grail, the Knights Templar, the background of Leonardo Da Vinci- his life's work, his genius and his bordering on insanity. All these and loads of very interesting nuggets of information that I would never have bothered to enquire on my own...now all presented to the masses in a paperback. The book also talks about the Bible- and how it has been 'edited' to what it is today. Fact or fiction- that's obviously for the reader to decide. One thing is for sure, the book is not short of controversies and it leaves you wanting to find out more. I wished I had discovered the book earlier.

Have you read it? What are your thoughts on it? And while you're at it, why are some of the most brilliant, most talented peope in the world, somehow always a little insane, offbeat or misunderstood? Maybe that should have been the norm. What's a little insanity if you can be a genius?

::perks::

2005-09-20T10:37:00.000+08:00

Ah ha, time to take stock and round up the events of my past few weeks:

1) Watched Madagascar with Liz at the Nokia starlight Cinema, bascially an open area when you spread your mat and enjoy the movie over popcorn chicken, evian and Malties (fabulously tasty chocolates from Down Under). Movie was disappointingly cliche but otherwise fantastic ambience.

2) Visited the swanky new Singapore National Library thrice- probably worthy to be hailed as a tourist attraction. Because it is made entirely of glass (or almost) you get a breath-taking view of the city at the upper floors. The library is also very state- of- art- just plug in your wireless laptops and you can use the Internet- free of charge. At the first floor, sits the Hans Cafe, which also supports wireless networking.

3) Took our client, from Finland, to Katong to taste some of the best, savory local delights. we had- some of the best seafood that Singapore has to offer. Think black pepper crab and fresh 'drunken' prawns. One of the greatest perks of my job is that I get to eat at some very good places whenever we take clients out. And to see the wide smile on the client's face- priceless.

4) Attended the Yellow Ribbons conference- an initiative by the government to integrate ex-offenders into the society. The conference was held in a hotel, where a very, very charming Minister, Dr Vivian Balakrishnan graced the event. Unfortunately, we arrived in the afternoon and missed him. My boss made a pressentation and apparently, our company was mentioned over the news.

5) Shopped relentlestly with the little pockets of time I had- in between meal and after work hours. I wrongly thought that I owed it to myself to indulge having worked consequetively for (gasp!) four weekends! Shopping is a great distraction from work. They do not coined the term ' retail therapy' for nothing.

6) On top of all that, I did a report and spent countless hours fine-tuning the longest and toughest questionaire I'll ever have to do. This questionaire is 280 pages long and takes the respondent an average of 4 hours to complete. Oh by the way, 1200 respondents sat for the survey. It is still on-going.

Oh the life of a market researcher... so full of challenges, demands and variety. It is stressful but I thrive on that a little bit...though admitedly, I sometimes want to call it quits. I'm glad I did not because I'm now reaping the fine rewards of seeing it all come together.

at the backyard

2005-09-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

Just 15 min walk away from my office, an area is very alive and buzzing with nightlife- Clarke Quay. Here is a picture I snapped while waiting for a friend. I love the fact that admist all that crazy action, lies a little river, quiet and uninterrupted- and all that, at my backyard.Right by the river area, people find spots to plant themselves. What is it about water, that is so alluring? Forget this little river for a while, just the mere mention of a word like ocean, sea, waterfall or oasis conjures an image of a little piece of paradise. I am the least romantic person in the world, but I find myself quite liking the idea of being near some kind of water.

candle in the wind- a tribute to Amanda

2005-08-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

I often wonder about the lives of fellow bloggers. How do they look like? What do they do? Will we ever meet? And when we do, would we have things to talk about just like the lively interactions we have on our blogs?

Now I'll never know what it is like to meet Amanda, a fellow blogger who recently passed on from a car accident. Amanda, who only sometime ago, was vivaciously alive and blogging about lipsticks and mini-skirts. This must be some cruel joke right? I may not know her personally nor am I in that position to offer words of comfort to her family and friends but this piece of news still pricks and I feel undoubtedly, a sense of loss.

After reading this, we'll return to our daily grind. We'll turn up for work, meet up with friends and attend to all of life's demands. Slowly but surely, news of her passing will fade. It takes a death to knocks some sense into us and to remember to live well today and take ourselves a little less seriously. Afterall, it does not seem to take much to snuff the life out of a candle.

Lacking the om factor!

2005-08-15T18:57:00.000+08:00

After 3 years of contemplation (more like procastination) I finally hit the mat and tried the much- talked- about yoga. A colleague and I had originally signed up for a fusion dance class, but it was cancelled at the last minute. Not wanting to waste the trip, we settled for the next available slot for multi-level yoga (read 'advanced yoga').

How is it that people make yoga look so easy? The yoga master could have reached nirvana and I would have believed it. Hailing from India, he is a strong man with a short stature. During the one hour lesson, he taught us to do 'stunts' like 'topsy turvy' and 'sun salutation'.

To do topsy turvy, we had to lie on our mats, raise our legs as high as possible and then use our arms to support our back as our legs hang (straight!) in the air. Obviously, to do this, you need very strong arms. Sensing my inexperience, the master walks over to me and used his one arm to lift my two legs high.

'Use some strength girl, use your arms!' he barks before lifting me even higher, like I was some feather. And he holds me in this uncomfortable position waiting for me to gather strength in my arms. 'Now relax and use your arms!' he barks again as I shuffle around trying to find some balance... I don't find any. As he looks down at me, I say, half-giggling 'I can't do it. I am going to fall!' Sensing how hopeless I was, he finally freed my legs, shook his head and walked to the next struggling disciple. I return to lying down lazily on the mat again.

Then came 'sun salutation'. There was no sun to speak of seeing how it was evening time and we were indoors. We just simply posture ourselves so that it looks like we're receiving the sun :). That was easy. The master didn't need to bark at me for that. But he consistently looked in my direction. The weakest link was easy to spot. And so I go through the rest of the lesson like that, red-faced and smiling rather stupidly. Didn't help that the lady in purple beside me was such a pro. Her face was always so screwed up with intensity and concentration.

I can't say my first attempt at yoga was a breeze. (Far from it!) Nor can I say I have done much justice to yoga and its practitioners. To begin with, I was in the wrong class and very ill-prepared. But I did enjoy myself tremendously during the class. All that stretching and flexing did me some good. I was a bag of loose bones afterwards but it was good while it lasted. What I do know now is that the next time I try yoga, I'll definitely save myself some embarassment and sign up at the beginners level.

under.the.weather

2005-08-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

National day today also marks the end of my four-day long break. It is not a particularly rosy break since I am feeling quite bugged by work. Could have been worse if not for my supportive boyfriend. (Bless you, Kamahl!) My workload is not particularly heavy. It's manageable. It's the work itself I find harder to manage- deadlines, reports and my boss's expectations. Funny how work haunts you even when you're suppose to be having a mental retreat. Work stress becomes real suddenly when it was once obsure. And I am constantly surprise at how I've handled myself, for better and for worse.

The coming week will be tough going...I predict burnt weekends (meaning weekends in the office) and maybe even a couple of lectures. I'm trying to psyche myself up. Most of the time, once I get going, work is not as difficult as I deem it to be. This is one precious lesson I'll keep relearning. And then I tell myself for the umpteenth time,
one more week to go...one more week to go...

Is this a familiar feeling? (Or is it just me..) How do you handle it?

oh harry!

2005-08-02T13:51:00.000+08:00

(This entry does not discuss the contents of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. And for the benefit of those who have yet to finish the book, please do not spoil our surprise by revealing anything remotely associated to JK Rowling's latest book ;) We are so dying to find out, ourselves!)

I'm a very pissed girl these days. Pissed because I have been deprived of my latest harry potter book- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I was reading it halfway when my brother decided to loan it to his girlfriend! That really sucked big time on two counts- 1) I can't read it now that I have no access to it 2) My brother thinks his girlfriend is more important than his own blood and kin! Having said that, I must confess that the book belongs to him and he is free to choose whomever he wants to loan it to. (Knowing that does not change the fact that it sucks).

I'm sorry to complain about something as trivial as this (comparing this to the grand scheme of the world and its endless problems) but any potter fan worth his/her salt will feel the same frustrations as I did. I had planned to read it every evening after work and while commuting to work. So now that it's no longer with me, everything else has fallen short of that kind of entertainment Harry Potter does for me. And that feeling, frankly, sucks.

The phenomenon that is Harry Potter has truly taken the world by storm. Just look at the fuss created from its launch and how JK Rowling goes about making her millions in that one weekend the book was launched (on top of that millions already earned from her previous potter titles). Her wild success extends beyond those thick profit lines...just look at what pottermania has done to me! I'm planning my schedule around it, screaming at my brother for sneaking that book out of my room and now, I have the cheek to blog about this...I'm practically obsessed. (I own all the previous five titles and the movie collection. I'm just short of dressing up as a witch and zooming around in a Nimbus broom playing Quidditch.)

As I was just commenting on Janet's blog, I too wonder aloud what it is about Harry that has so captured our hearts and imagination, leaving us all spellbound (literally) and craving for more. Oh harry, if only you were not make-believe, you would know just how special you are!

a.nite.to.remember

2005-07-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

The lovely bride and her groom

Edmond and Zann

Sorry guys...she's so attached.
Sandy (in green) and I. I really like this girl. Wish I knew her better...

It was a surreal experience watching my friend get married. Even at the wedding, I just didn't quite get it. Nevertheless, I was filled with anticipation to meet up with all my girlfriends most of whom I've not met since last year. What a nice evening!

wedding.bells.are.not.ringing.partII

2005-07-24T16:37:00.000+08:00

wedding.bells.are.not.ringing. garnered some interesting comments. They make good food-for-thought. I just want to thank all of you for your input. Everyone appreciates a well-thought comment.

It's fascinating to remember that despite all our cultural differences, some things are alas, still the same. Same but yet different. Same in that most agreed marriage is not something we should rush into and different because we have our own reasons for not doing so.

To sum it up (based on those comments)....having someone to share all the adventures and experience is pure joy times two. There is no right or wrong age to get married, it's a matter of mental readiness, maturity and sometimes, luck. It is good to wait a couple of years before hatching babies. And finally, like it or not, one should at least be financially stable because diapers, milk powder and education don't come cheap.

wedding.bells.are.not.ringing

2005-07-14T17:42:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody. Long time no blog.

I think my honeymoon days in the office are over. Since returning from the HK trip, I have been clocking in long hours with lots of work to do and things to learn. I had the chance to moderate my own focus group too! I really enjoy that, drilling people with questions and feel them brainstorming for answers on the most unlikely questions. But I won't go too much into that. That's not what today's entry is about..

No, I'm not getting married nor do I plan to anytime soon. But that does not mean than people around me aren't. The last two years, I've noticed a strange 'fad'. A handful of my friends are tying the knot and settling down with their loved ones. This may not sound strange until I tell you that my friends are just 22- 23 years old. Some of them have recently turned parents!

It is a strange feeling everytime someone I lose touch with calls me up and invites me for her wedding. While I do feel happy for them most of the time, I can't help but wonder what on earth were they thinking? Getting married at 22 or 23 is just so out of my league I find it hard to relate to that. I feel that life is really just beginning at this time now that school has ended and most of us are starting on a career. There're so many things to do, so many places to go, marriage very naturally takes a backseat. Perhaps this is a rather selfish viewpoint, perhaps there are others out there who feel that at 23, he or she is ready to take on the challenges and responsibility of being married. Perhaps so. I really don't know.

Marriage to me is like stepping into another phase, another state of mind. It is not so much the age..I'm using 22-23 as a rough guage here. With parenthood, it gets even more daunting. I admire super Mums who raise superkids (Melissa and Hazel are you reading this?) . I feel that life is so good because they have kids but at the same time, I can't phatom myself in their shoes. I love being around kids but having one is really a very different story. Maybe this story will be different again when I turn of age. But right now, it's simply beyond me.

Fellow bloggers, I'm probably stepping on tender grounds here but I want to know, what are your thoughts on this?

treasures of the deep blue sea

2005-07-06T16:17:00.000+08:00

I know this is a little belated..but i wanted to post them anyway. We had the chance to do a quick drop by at Ocean Park while we were in HongKong. Here's what I got to show for it... i love the picture with the jellyfishes, they move with such grace. The other picrue I like is the one that looks like an oasis..

2005-06-27T19:06:00.000+08:00

Tram that took us up to the Peak. I enjoyed this ride quite a bit. It's travels on this very steep track which was quite an experience for me.

2005-06-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

Dinner at Cafe Deco. Tracy, my manager on the left and I.

2005-06-27T18:58:00.000+08:00

HongKong in the evening

2005-06-27T18:55:00.000+08:00

I love this rather candid shot of us. Here, we're waiting for the bus to take us to Stanley Market. The bus ride takes on a scenic route bypassing Repulse Bay. See that poser with the checked bag? That will be Compassionat.

2005-06-27T18:51:00.000+08:00

see that building with luminous lighting? apparently, it changes colours to tell the time! who needs watches and clocks?

2005-06-27T18:48:00.000+08:00

bird's eye view from the Peak

2005-06-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

streets.of.hongkong..does anybody recognise Causeway Bay?

2005-06-27T18:41:00.000+08:00

phew!whataview!

HK! Ready or not, here we come!

2005-06-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

My feet is itching and I'm ready to go. The countdown has started. I'm talking about our company trip to Hong Kong next week. It's our company anniversary and the whole office will be mobilised. So I'm terribly excited and grateful, that my bosses have generously included, and therefore, sponsored me on this trip.

This will be our second trip since I joined the research company 3 months ago. Only this time, the trip is not work-related. I've put aside more than half of my pay for my expenses... you know my (ironic) money-saving tip, save and splurge big-time where clothes are cheaper. So that's what I've heard, HongKong is much more affordable when it comes to fashion.

More than anything, close friends know I've this thing for travelling. Think it's my travel feet. I've not been to many places but I constantly think about travelling to Europe, Japan, Nepal and other exotic locations. My biggest 'breakthrough' trip was to the US. Four years ago, I saved for over a year to make a trip to Indiana and California, against my parents' wishes. I don't think I knew then, what I was gettting myself into but all things considered, I was richer for the experience. I've more stories to tell (and blog) and I made friends I still keep in touch with till this day. It was not particularly eventful, although I did visit Disneyland, but that trip gave me alot of self-confidence and a great sense of independence.

I'm quite impatient actually. I want to see as many places as I possibly can, in my lifetime. I have this notion in my head that I can always earn back the money I spend on travelling..but not the time I could have spend, exploring this world.

and.then.there.was.silence

2005-06-02T18:53:00.000+08:00

It's 7pm here. I'm sitting in my office, alone. My colleagues have gone home. All except for one. He is working downstairs. This is a 2-storey office.

My work is done. So I'm just sitting around blogging for a while. I stand up to switch off the aircon. And I return to my PC. And then I realised, there was silence. For once. In my mind and the buzzing office. I feel strange. Strangely peaceful. Sorry this is so anti-climax. This is the kind of rare opportunity that comes by. And so, I want to blog about it. Even though, essentially this entry is about nothing. Yes, Nothing.

Have you ever realised just how noisy our world is? Until you shut down all that noise from the humming aircon, the irritating phone, people talking. There is solitude in quiet.

You must have heard of this before. The night sky is always starry. But you can't see the stars till all the lights are out.....

I was just thinking.....

2005-05-30T15:26:00.000+08:00

happy thoughts..
take.time.for.REFLECTION.

oh.smile.for.us

2005-05-30T15:24:00.000+08:00

wacky girls on a crazy bus

2005-05-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

just us! for fun!

power.walk

2005-05-25T11:10:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, it has been one week since I last blogged.We had 3 days off over the last weekend. Monday was a public holiday, being Vesak Day,when Buddhists celebrate Buddhism.

So anyway did i tell you that I took part in The Newpaper Big Walk with Kamahl? Ten kilometres! I don't know how much is that in miles, but it's a long way anyway (somebody pls convert that) =) So it took us almost 2 hours to complete the walk...and I thought I was making big progress with my small, quick steps! There were over 50,000 people (gasp!) so it was a scorching hot and sweaty event. I was glad I took part anyway, because I wanted to do something different and fun over the long weekend. So that morning, I woke up at 6.30am (again, another gasp!), picked up kamahl and his brother, adam, along the way and we were good to go. We plan to join again.

So this was it, nothing much. Just a small nugget of my humble activities over the weekend...

What have you been up to?

clarice.bean.teaches.me.a.lesson

2005-05-17T14:59:00.000+08:00

What did I learn today from Clarice Bean?

That, sometimes how others feel is more important than what you think! Clarice Bean Spells Trouble was a very charming book I just read. She's whimsical and wise in a very childlike way.

So, the next time you're about to shoot off your mouth, remember clarice beans...

Clarice Bean Spells Trouble by Lauren Child

an.interview.with.god

2005-05-13T14:40:00.000+08:00

I'm neither religious, not spiritual..but I really enjoyed this presentation. You may have already seen it..seeing how it has been hailed as a phenomenon. I've provided this link on my blog to share with all who visits my blog as well as for me to refer to, whenever I feel under the weather a.ka. picture above. Thanks Hazel..Check it out, it'll only take a few minutes, I promise! Click here.

Have a great weekend.

Yes, it's You!!!

2005-05-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

Watching the 2- hour season finale of the Amazing Race last night, I've lost count of the number of times my heart almost leapt out of my chest. The race to the finish was nothing short of nail-breaking, hair-pulling excitement. I was yelling so loud my father came into my room asking me to please shut up.How could I? I wanted so much for the Agus (the black couple) to win. They had done everything right and faced all challenges with optimism and good attitude. How could anyone not root for them? In an earlier episode, Joyce even made the ultimate sacrifice, to shave off her crowning glory of long locks! No kidding!Till the very last leg of the race, a short distance from the finishing line (and a million dollars), they still had the presence of mind to think about paying the cab driver his due fare. They are such nice, decent people..so unlike Rob and Amber. (Rob maybe smart, but he is so ill-mannered and crude.) So anyway, I really felt very satisfied that they've won. I am so inspired by them and their love for each other. They're deserving winners, having fought (and begged) so hard...

the.need.for.space

2005-05-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

Growing up in a very small country, I long for open spaces where I can take a breather. Space is a rare and expensive commodity in Singapore. Every little area of space has been converted into blocks of buildings, malls etc. We have so many malls in this tiny island...we really don't need another one. What's the point if they're all the same anyway? And because we're so small, everywhere I go is so crowded. Often, I end up getting more bothered than relaxed, after a day out.

To avoid all of that, Kamahl and I have taken to the beaches to unwind regularly. But even the beaches are getting crowded, especially the food centres.

Strangely enough, I've come to the realisation that this is not where I would like to spend the rest of my life in. I don't know..maybe in time to come, I'll have a change of mind. But I'm really quite sick of how cluttered and crowded this place is. I've no room for thoughts, no space for freedom. If I have a choice, I would make room for nature. I would leave the little pockets of whatever jungle, bonafide rivers we've, alone. But I don't.

In the end, I just have to retire to my cosy, yellow room, which is sadly, the only santuary I know of.

because.all.is.one

2005-05-07T00:13:00.000+08:00

Meet Jack Jenkins...an adventurer and fellow blogger I stumbled upon and was compelled to find out more.

Check out:
MOAB WAYS

for poetry long forgotten..

Up, up and Up!

2005-05-05T17:21:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously pissed! They've done it again! They've raised the prices of movie tickets yet again..barely after two years of price adjustment.

Movies have always been one of the greatest, best indulgences for Kamahl and I..we love watching movies. A typical date for us almost always consist of a movie plus dinner. Now with the price hikes (kicked in last Saturday), we've decided to turn to Cineleisure and Shaw House for our movies. They are the only organisations who are not raising prices. For most theatres, tickets will now cost $9.50 each on weekends and fridays! Weekdays tickets are not much better- between S$7-8.50. And forget popcorn. They cost almost as much as the stupid tickets.

How are they going to win the fight against piracy if they keep raising prices... I don't condone pirarcy but really, think about it, if it cost someone $3-10 to buy a pirated movie and keep it for life, why not? A typical movie date will easily come up more than 20 bucks anyway. Hey, we can count too! For every dollar you increase, you stand to lose ten other loyal movie patrons somewhere. The reasons they gave for raising prices hardly seem justified too. (We didnt asked for cushier seats, did we?)

Costs keep going up. For a change, somebody should lower prices.

Now, that would really grab our attention, wouldn't it?

what's the big hoo-haa??

2005-05-04T15:10:00.000+08:00

Bloggers have been in the news lately. Mostly, negative publicity, I must add. Some local scholar based in the States decided to post some racist remarks on his blog and got some mud for it (here and abroad, in the US).
And there has been some issues about bloggers not taking responsibility for what they post, running the risk of getting sued. (I think most bloggers know better than to name names anyway.)

So...some professor in some university decided to write a long column in which he goes into details about how some bloggers assume 'a different persona' on their blogs and how some of them use their blogs as a means of stabbing people behind (or in front) of their backs. He touched briefly on the positives of keeping a blog but did not elaborate. I just remembered thinking..." this could only come from a non-blogger who clearly doesn't know his subject very well."

Starting this blog has affirmed my identity. It has become an extension of myself since this is where I express my thoughts and opinions quite freely. I can be myself on Dwellings, more than I can be myself in the office, or even at home sometimes!

Since starting this blog in Jan, I've...

- Made several new friends I would NEVER have otherwise met
- Keep in touch with old friends
- Hone my writing skills and mind
- Discovered an avenue to just let go and indulge
- Found support in the most unlikely places

I"ve also visited blogs where

- Bloggers share their interests and passions
- Share their views on political, societal issues
- Showcase their talent for poetry
- Find likeminded people who's gone through a similar emotional ordeal

I'm sure that for most people (besides that scholar), blogging has been more of a positive experience.
So really, what's the big hoo-haa? People like professors and scholars should just relax.

if...

2005-04-29T15:06:00.001+08:00

There is something you could change, anything at all, what would it be?

embrace.variety

2005-04-25T15:51:00.000+08:00

because variety is the spice of life. Even in the most mundane of jobs, we can find variety by exploring different ways to get the same thing done. There can be variety in routines too. Read books you never thought you'll read. Go places you never thought you'll go. Be experimental. I was like that before, I may have lost some of that, sucked into the hum drum of life and trying to fit into norms. I realised people should just live according to their own terms because at the end of the day, you're only answerable to God and yourself.

Live once, live well.

::untouched::

2005-04-23T12:51:00.000+08:00

This pic was taken late Nov..on the way to Bangkok, we saw a sunset. Take an evening flight..you might just get the same paranomic view. On hindsight, I think this is such a romantic shot.

2005-04-23T12:43:00.000+08:00

Found this pic by chance..has been lying in my PC..i think this is one of the rare shots that I quite like. My brother took it for me last November.

The Apprentice & Donald Trump

2005-04-18T18:39:00.000+08:00

Nobody I know likes to admit they watch reality TV (even if they DO watch, in secret). Reality programs are considered the lowest of low TV, promoting undesirable traits and showcasing the worst of human behaviour. What's more, they make entertainment out of people's misery...the ugly list goes on.

While this is true of most reality programs, I can't say the same for the Apprentice and The Amazing Race, both of which i follow with a passion. Of course I will never say that I watch the Apprentice for the bitchy tiffs and back-stabbing (gasp!that would have been unforgivable!) rather, I'll say I watch the program for the man the contestants are all dying to impress- Donald Trump.

For someone with so little hair, he sure has alot of personality and ego (possibly larger than his empire). Unemotional and firm, he can make a decision in a split second..and say "You're fired" in the straightest of faces. I love that. I'm not going to lie..I admire that sort of no-nonsense-no-regrets decisiveness, something I'm absolutely incapable of. With him, you never quite know what to expect -and that is key to making The Apprentice an entertaining program.

A normal run of The Apprentice typically consists of an interesting challenge, a mind-blowing reward and a showdown in the boardroom. Sounds Delicious? You bet. Yes, there is alot of bickering but on the good side, we get to see how some these fiesty participants defend themselves, how to lead a team and how NOT to be like those snakes who take credit for other people's work. Personally, I think it's a great program with a great concept. I also root for some of the contestants...the ones I think are nice and competent.

So, the next time you see the show on air, dont rush to flip the channel- watch on and then tell us what you think (if you aren't secretly watching already...:)

about.everything.and.nothing

2005-04-10T16:06:00.000+08:00

Ok 3 random thoughts before i forget.

Samura, the Movie....(think the Ring 2)
turned out to be a big mistake. I didn't enjoy the movie one bit. It was a replica of the same old tricks used by the same old producer. Tactics that do not shock and awe no more. The Ring 1 (Asian version) was a resounding success in the region but Samura (U.S version, the Ring 2), is an attempt by the producer to marry a Western face to a very Asian type of horror. It just doesn't work this way. The West's idea of horror is quite different from the East. (i can't quite put my finger to it, but it is!) The result was a weird, confused picture. Verdict? Don't waste your money. None of the suspense, terror-gripping factor in the Ring 1 was present in Samura. I still hate horror movies...they're pointless. (we watched it only because it was the only movie slot available at that time).

A Money-Saving Tip

All you big shoppers, ladies and gentlemen and fellow Singaporeans:

Here's a secret i suspect you already know: Kuala Lumpur is a great shopping spot! Back from my recent trip, I almost burst my wallet with my purchases. Now, I'm neither rich nor a big spender but the things in KL were just irresistable. Finally, we can shop where there's alot more style and variety and where prices are truly, truly affordable. You'll find that most of the stuff there cannot actually be found here despite the fact that the 2 countries are so near.) This is provided that you go to the right malls. Try Sungei Wang and One Utama (the equivalent of Takashimaya, Far East Plaza and Heerens' here.)

So my money-saving tip? Save up for a month or two and SPLURGE big-time in KL. You'll be better off for it! e.g I spend about S$400 bucks on a coat, a pair of sequinned jeans, many other tops and countless other brooches. This should put me into non-shopping-mode for the next 3 months. This equates to more savings, of course. (This tip applies to guys too, though i doubt they'll care.)

Writers Do Live For Their Bylines

The article I wrote back in february is out. April issue of Today's Parents. It truly is surreal to see your name in print. I did not read the article because i was so sick of writing it by the time i was done with it. I will be truly bewildered if people actually take time to read the stuff i wrote. I did secretly wish i had wrote for a more hippy, trendy magazine but oh well. Some of my friends wanted to show their support by buying the magazine but i told them not to waste their money. Unless you're 1) a parent 2) expecting a child 3)in the course of family-planning, the magazine will not apply to you! (i wrote about injections and diseases). I bought just two copies, one for my keepsake and admiration (yukes!) the other for Kamahl.

FYI, I just write on a freelance basis. I'm not a journalist and I don't work for any publication. I'm a research executive now ( I know it's confusing) .Ok, that's that. Have a great weekend, wherever you are.

::perfection::

2005-04-08T17:00:00.001+08:00

Watching Spanglish sparked something off..

Why are so many people so obssessed with perfection? Why is the developed society so bent on having the perfect face or the perfect body (even the perfect smile) all the time? This is so insane and such a waste of time and sometimes, money..seeing how perfection always escape us. There is beauty in flaws too! It'll will be too boring if we all look so darn perfect.

Are you a perfectionist? I'm a perfectionist when it comes to certain things..especially if they are work-related. In school, i used to check through my projects over and over again. everytime i run through it, i make changes, some of them possibly for the worse. It is so tiring to try to be perfect. Now, i'm better at curbing my own expectations. Expecting perfection all the time is unrealistic. The key is to do your best, as cliche and old-fashioned as it sounds.

Speaking Spanglish

2005-04-07T15:41:00.000+08:00

Spanglish! Since Hotel Rwanda, i've not watched too many films that were special, at least to me. I love this movie..how the story slowly unfolds and reveals the true colours of each character..how a mother makes her dignified decisions out of tricky situations while another mum drives herself insane in her pursuit to be perfect. The husband, played by Adam Sandler, is caught between the two women and an unspoken love. The movie is humorous, meaningful and profound all at once.

It's also about how the a small Spanish family almost got 'homogenised' into the American culture. This picture reminds me a little of Lost in Translation, yet it's so different. It is not for the mass market though.. so unless you like a provoking movie, you might feel bored.

if you've seen the film, let me know what you think of it!

What! A quake again?

2005-03-30T11:02:00.000+08:00

As if the tsunamis-earthquake on Dec 26 did not wrecked enough havoc, the heavens decided to pull another stunt on the Sumatran island. A scale 8.5 one, no less. I can't help but feel so sorry for the victims. i mean, they've barely got over one quake! (Apparently, the two quakes didnt happen very far from each other.) Everytime i see their faces on TV or in the papers, their eyes reflect the same theme: helplessness. Many times, these victims are having a hard time edging out a living as it is. Let alone find enough resources to rebuild their lives...

The quake must have been very serious given that the tremors can be felt as far away as Singapore, some 400 km away. Where i live in Sengkang, residents have complained of 'swaying buildings' and the like. In fact, the same complaint was echoed in many parts of this country. That was on Monday night around midnite. At that time, I remembered i was reading something and suddenly felt very giddy..as if my body was moving but the rest of my room was still. It was bizarre and i thought: " hey, i've never felt like this before." But i brushed it aside.. in my mind, I thought i was probably too tired. Thinking back, it may have been the tremors afterall.

What was felt here is nothing compared to what the earthquake and tsunamis victims have to put up with. Let's hope they can pick up the broken pieces and resume their lives soon again.

To Post or Not To Post?

2005-03-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

I'll make a very quick post...

A friend who visited my blog recently commented that it's not really 'safe' to post pictures of myself and close ones on my blog. His reason? 'Because you never know who comes to your blog..there are a lot of weird people out there.' The paranoid part of me agrees with him. You never know which psychodelic is lurking on the other side of the computer. But another part of me just want to post pictures as a means of update for my friends...most people prefer looking at pictures than reading long entries anyway. For the most part though, i really can't be bothered with it.

I cant say i've been to many blogs..but i've notice people don't usually put up pictures of themselves. This is perhaps due to privacy reasons? On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who'll virtually post anything..even pictures of their certificates. ( i've seen them!)

Really, how much is too much? Are we revealing too much of our life by posting personal pictures? Would you do it? Or if you already did, did you ever encounter any weird stuff?

The Sum of All Fears= A State of Paranoia

2005-03-11T00:44:00.000+08:00

I've a confession. I'm positively paranoid. You'll never guess it by looking at me but I've deep-seated irrational fears. Tonight, I want to take them out of the closet.

On the Plane

For someone who enjoys light travelling, I have an unlikely phobia of taking flights. While that does not happen very often because i haven't flew to that many places, I'm always freaked out during takes offs and landings. Last November, as Kamahl and I took a short trip to Bangkok, I almost burst into tears during the take off...I thought that i was definitely going to die. That, that was THE night.

In the Loo

While i did survive that mentally fatal trip, I've never quite found a way to cope with my other fears. Eversince the SARs outbreak here in 2003, I've been obssessed with my personal hygiene..not that I was unhygenic before just that now, i'm SUPER paranoid, like Howard Hughs in The Aviator. I dislike visiting public toilets and imagine all kinds of germs and viruses lurking near and below the toilet bowl. I start to think that if i didn't die on the plane, I would die of some other viruses i didnt even know i caught from which toilet. After every handwash, i dread to touch the doorhandle and always wished that someone else was standing on the other end to push it for me. I know it's disgusting conduct, but i told you i had irrational fears. Sometimes i do the 'two second dash' where i open the door first, rush to the tap and in a swift, dash out before the toilet door closes.

The Six Pillars

Two weeks back, I met up with a friend who is an insurance agent. Big mistake. Now, i don't typically meet up with insurance agents. Infact, i habitually avoid people who try to sell me anything (because i NEVER do buy). But this was different. Jana, the agent, was an old friend. We met up and she coerced me into filling up some ten page form before rambling on about the 'six pillars'. The six pillars refers to accidental, critical illness and life coverage. I really don't remember them all. All i could recall was how freaked out i was thinking of hospital bills and how I was one critical illness away from bankruptcy. Yes, it was a valid fear, but really, at 22, i don't want to be burden with the anxiety of the six pillars. One pole is good enough.

The Newspaper

I pride myself as a very 'informed' person because i read the newspaper everyday..i'm talking StraitsTimes..not that 'Singapore's No 1 tabloid.' It's contradictory but the dailies do induce fear in me too. Every plane crash, natural disaster, bird or chicken outbreak, terrorist movement is subconsciously registered in my head, causing unnecessary anxiety. Infact, I think i feel more fearful, down and sad after every read. Btw, have you realised that many medical breakthroughs today becomes the the next medical 'breakdowns' tomorrow? Maybe, i should stop reading the papers :) My lecturer used to say that for newspapers, "Good news is no news and bad news is good news.' He was a wise man.

Obviously i hope to put an end to all these irrational fears soon..because i can never imagine a life with no flights, jana, public toilets or newspaper. i just need to learn to eliminate them, one by one, pillar by pillar. Just that right now, i feel like a 52 year old, trapped in a 22-year-old that looks like a 19-year-old.

Now, what are your fears?

You're the MAN!

2005-03-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

Let's play Spot Kamahl. *Tsk Tsk..he's the only one staring at the right camera...mine.

(This picture was taken post-parade on 5 March, the morning of the dinner event. )

:: 3 Types of Bloggers ::

2005-03-05T11:45:00.000+08:00

I've come to conclude that like volcanoes, there are three main types of bloggers:

Active bloggers are your diehards who clock in an average of 2-3 hours a day posting entries and checking out other blogs. An Active views blogging as a form of release and the pleasure of it all keeps them coming back for more. As they are writing their latest entry, they're thinking of what to write for the next five. They go cold turkey after two days of not checking their blog and when someone leaves a comment, they get a tiny rush that's not unlike the feeling of receiving mail in the letterbox. They typically have a site meter on their blog to check out the number of hits. Together with fellow bloggers, they form a tight niche Pacific Ring of Fire.

Dormant bloggers, arh...these are another breed. They blog occasionally when some sparks goes off in their heads and write only when they've something substantial to contribute. Dormants write when they 'feel like it'. They are like your sleeping volcanoes who wake up and erupt once in a while to let others know they're still there.

Extinct bloggers are bloggers no more. They set up an account, post a few entries, lose the initial enthusiasm and close shop a few days later. From time to time, they may check out other blogs but largely speaking, they've left the blogging scene, in which case, they are unlikely to have come across this entry. These are your dead volcanoes.

At times, there may be no clear distinction between Actives, Dormants and Extincts. For instance, you could be an Active who displays Active and Dormant symptoms, therefore making you a Hybrid. Currently, I'm a pure Active and if i go on at this rate, i may soon have to check in at Bloggers Anonymous.

Tell us, which type are you and why?

*related link: Beauty of a Blog

a.reason.to.celebrate

2005-03-03T11:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i was offered a job i couldn't refuse. An interesting job as Research Executive with an attractive compensation plan, job benefits and opportunities for regional travel. It was irresistable and i agreed immediately. In most circumstances, that would almost seem like a silly thing to do, but i know an opportunity like this won't come knocking twice.

In Oct last year, i had participated in a focus group interview in the research house. Interested in what they were doing, i asked for a name card. Subsequently, i send my resume over, enquiring about job opportunities. Never did i once foresee that i'll eventually work for this firm. It was more like a distant hope..a try-and-see-where-it-goes kindda thing. That was Oct 04.

The interview took place last tuesday. I was interviewed by the Research Director and Manager, both of whom i took a liking to very quickly. They were not like your typical interviewers at all. For one, they chat you up and make you feel at ease. The best part was that i could identify with their working attitude and working styles- which was rare. With neither a degree nor related work experience, i'm truly grateful the firm took a chance with me. From their point of view, they were taking a risk and God forbids i under-perform.

Earlier on, i had wrote about wanting a full-time position as a writer in a certain publication (read one.step.closer). Writing has, and always will be, something i'm passionate about. For a while, I had referred to it as my 'calling'. (yes, go ahead and laugh) That is the one of the main reasons why i even bothered to maintain a blog, which most bloggers will tell you, is extremely time-consuming. But i figured that even with a full-time job now, i'll still be able to feed my passion through my blog as well as continue my work as a freelance writer at the side. Besides, writing does entail alot of research too. And i'm interested in both.

I start work on March 7. I work Mon-Fri. The best bit? I start work at ten. 'Nobody here comes at 9'- to quote the Director. Told you i could relate to their working styles :) i also like how they constantly refer to their staff as 'family'. The office location is near town, so that means i'll have to spend a considerable amount of time commuting to and fro work..but that's alright.

Town is where the buzz is. And the buzz is where i want to be.

~Children and The Tale of a Pillow~

2005-02-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

During class today, the kids were assigned 15 min of playtime- a standard routine. They were left to their own devices which wasn't too many...some lego blocks, books, puzzles- that sort of stuff. Ten mins and alot of noise later, this girl thrusted a small container of building blocks in my face and proclaimed: "this bowl of rice is for you, t'cher. finish it ok?" In the container was one-half of a pencil case. 'This is your scoop, t'cher. Eat now please?" she said before demonstrating how to use the 'spoon'. Feeling pressured, I caved in.

They never fail to surprise me with the things they say and do. Kids do have very active imagination and can make toys out of the most mundane things. Girls usually make cooking toys (masak masak*) and boys construct robots and planes that dip to the ground, complete with sound effects.

My four year old cousin, Nicole, likes to play pretend. Usually, she wears this ridiculous plastic high heels and carry this dainty winnie-the-pooh handbag and parade around the house in circles, going about her 'working routine'. She can get very busy. So everywhere she went, she carried that worn-out winnie-pooh bag which should have retired a long time ago. Children are funny people.

Think about it. When you were younger, did you ever had your own winnie-pooh bag that followed wherever you went? This prized possession can come in so many forms- a small blanket, a pillow, pacifier, bag, a rag doll..the list goes on. Whatever happened to it?

For me, it was a huge, soft, pink pillow. And a smelly one at that. Of course to me, the pillow was aromatherapy...even if it smelled like history. Out of habit, I would always pluck the corners of the pillow, thumb in mouth, and rub the pillow edges till i fall asleep. But it was a weird pillow, i remembered feeling a big nail inside the pillow and i always wondered what else was stored in between the wool. I tied a rubberband around the nail. I had it for ten years and i swear i gave it a name.

That all changed when my father read somewhere that pillows shouldnt be kept for more than 5 years. Apparently, they become a breeding haven for germs. He then dropped the bomb: " Throw away lah.. i'm going to throw it away first thing tomorrow morning".

I panicked only for a moment. Then I protested. Didn't work. Next morning, i woke up early and stuffed the fat pillow into my school bag, while i carried my books in a separate bag. I shamelessly brought her to school that day. Of course my father was puzzled about the whereabouts of that old pillow. I lied, saying that i had thrown it away. Operation Pillow was going smoothly so far.

My lie caught up with me as soon as the pillow mysteriously re-emerged in the house. And my father very quickly outsmarted me. He wasn't going to tell me when he was throwing it away. But threw away he did. Needless to say, i was devastated. Being a petty kid, I did not talk to my father for 2 days. And he bribed me with a meagre $2. Again, I caved in.

My old friend died just like that. She could never be replace and i never did try.

* What's the point of this story? Sorry, I don't have one. I just wanted to write something...anything. So this is it. Let's dedicate a moment to our 'special friends' and hear about your prized possession.

Sixth-Sense and The World's Fastest Animal

2005-02-24T13:53:00.000+08:00

I always think animals are extremely intuititive. That if you fear them, they'll sense it and in return become fearful of you- they might attack in such a situation, out of defence. Here, i'm in the cage with a cheetah. She's behaves just like any other domesticated cats. Cheetahs are great-looking animals. They are truly nimble and sleek.

Me and My Next-in-Kin

2005-02-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

Me and Suria- a gorgeous but cranky orang utan. Kamahl always teases me when he sees this pic. "which one is the orang utan?" The one on the right...duh.

One.Step.Closer

2005-02-24T12:18:00.000+08:00

It is Thursday, 4 days since my last entry. I've been busy and I miss blogging. Busy with what, you ask?

Concerned friends who are aware of my job situation have been asking me the same questions over and over again. And I find myself repeating the same answers like a broken record. So, to set the record straight, i've decided to blog everything out, get it out of my system and save myself a few breaths!

Since January, I've been working as a freelance writer. Now, I'm working on my third assignment for a local magazine. This assignment is the easiest and most interesting thus far. I've to do research on 8 diseases that used to plague Singapore before vaccinations became a norm. Dieseases like polio, rubbella, tuberculosis- stuff like that. Deadline is next Monday!

Its only my third and i'm just starting out. The Editor, is sort of putting me on a trial, to see if i'm right for the job. (because i'm a newbie in this field). I seriously enjoy what i do now. I love to liase with people, go for test-drives (my first assignment was to find the most popular family cars in Singapore), researching for info, interviewing people, taking pictures and finally, writing and compiling everything in a masterpiece. I enjoy the entire process, running this one man show. Eventually thou, i hope she'll hire me on a full-time basis! (fingers crossed)

On weekends, I teach phonics to a group of 5-6 years old and Creative Writing to a class of 10-year-olds. I've been teaching at this particular enrichment school for more than two years. Honestly, I do like teaching but i've become quite sick of it. I like kids alot but i miss interacting with adults. I felt like i was missing something and thus, embark on a job hunt. That was Dec, 04.

I'm aware of what I like and what I want for a full-time job. I'm going to stay a few years in my future job and I might as well take my time to find something I like- which is to write. Sure, I can settle for something less, but knowing me, i wont stay for long and i'll just end up losing momentum, or worse, job-hopping. All my working life, the jobs that I've taken up, have always been in-line with my interests. That's important to me.

For the benefit of those who just got in touch with me, and the new bloggers i've met, i would like to let you tell you more about my background. In Nov last year, I graduated with an Advance Dip in Mass Comm. Prior to that, I graduated with a Diploma in Tourism Management from Temasek Poly. That was a 3-year course.

While I was pursuing my Tourism Diploma, I worked for 2 years as a Tram Commentator in Night Safari. It remains my best and fave job of all-time. There, i get to write and update my own script which i then present to a tram full of 80 people! Its was exhilirating, to say the least. And I love animals. During that time, I also served a six-month internship in the Singapore Zoo as a Public Relations Executive. I met some amazing people (mostly zookeepers) and came up close and personal with alot of animals including cheetahs, horses, pythons, orang utans! I think i'll post some photos to show off. haha

I'm 22 now. I apologise if all these jobs and educational path are confusing you alittle. I can give you a timeline but who reads timelines? I've had an interesting life because of all these great jobs. And now, I'm impatient to make it even spicer ;)

AND THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO READ THIS.

It's All in a Name...

2005-02-20T15:30:00.000+08:00

Its a fact!

-Top UN official Ruud Lubbers who has been accused of sexual harrassment has been nicknamed 'Lewd Rubbers'. Wicked!

-North Korean PM Kim Jong Il has named an orchid after himself- kimjongilia.

Huh?

*Know any wicked names that's blogworthy? Post it!

~The Skinny on Being Skinny~

2005-02-19T13:34:00.000+08:00

These days, people mistakenly think being skinny is 'in' and fashionable. As someone who has been medically underweight all 22 years of her life, i feel fit to have a say on this. Someone once thought i was rubbing salt to the wound when i told her i was trying to gain weight. (She was on some diet, i think ). If that's what you think,you can stop reading from this point on.

People who have known me all my life know I'm perpertually 'petite'. No, I do not suffer from any eating disorders unless you consider irregular meals to be one. No, I don't hit the toillet, stick a finger down my throat and puke my food after a meal! (Yucks!).

Here's some insight to the daily comments and 'jokes' i'm grown so sick of:

1) Are you sure you don't get blown away by strong winds?

(Yes, i'm sure.. Unless it's a typhoon or a hurricane in which you too, would be blown off course)

2) Stranger (someone i meet for the first time): 'Nice to meet you Nat.'
Me: 'Nice to meet you too, ______.'
Stranger: 'Do you eat?'
Me: Ah..Yes (duh-look)
Stranger: 'Where did the food go?'
Me: 'Hahaha ' (fake laughter)

3) 'Eh, i think you stopped growing since when you're were 12'

4) 'Are you sure you've reached puberty? '

5) 'Nat, you look like you can swim in that shirt.'

6) 'You look like a 12-year-old playing dress-up.'
(Ouch.Ouch.Ouch. This is by far, the WORST!)

The things people spew from their mouths! What guts! But having said that, alot of these comments are from my humourless, good-natured friends with well-meaning intentions.

Apart from breakfast ( which i habitually skip), I eat all my meals and the occasional supper. I stop as soon as I'm full. I neither undereat nor overeat. As long as I'm not hungry, its good enough. I do think alot of my size has to do with genetics disposition: My parents and siblings all veer towards the skinny side, except for my cop brother who is fit as a fiddle next to the rest of us.

Apart from enduring insensitive comments about my size, shopping poses another problem. All my adult life, i've had difficulty finding pants and jeans that fit. Tops are slightly easier. I'm smaller that a U.S size 6 and that means alot of snazzy brands like Topshop, Zara and Forever 21 are out for me. ( Thankfully, i can still shop in Mango for their XS sizes! ) I seldom buy black-coloured clothes because they shrink me some more. Most of my skirts and pants have gone through alteration, which means i have to fork out extra $$.

Recently, I've to endure the 'force-feeding' from my boyfriend and he's been making me eat huge beefy burgers and making all the food choices at eating joints. Sometimes, we sit for an hour just waiting for me to finish my (or rather his) orders. I have lost my dignity as an adult making responsible diet choices and worse, eating food I don't like takes the whole joy out of eating.

In the past, I can have nuggets, a coke and fries. Now, it's considered an 'incomplete' meal and I have to top it off with something else. Maybe I'm just being ungrateful.. but I just don't feel the urgency to put on that few extra kg. My boyfriend think its unhealthy..that I'm lacking in some life-sustaining nutrition. The truth is, I hardly ever fall sick. These days, I can jog for 2km (a huge feat for my standards) and swim continuously for two hours without collaspsing in exhaustion.

Sure, i would love to 'fill' my clothes nicely. Sure, I admire Latino women for their right curves and fleshiness. Sure, i know i can use a few pounds...well..I guess my whole point of writing this is to dismiss the notion that being skinny is trendy. I don't believe slimming ads and diets. I believe in eating what you like, savouring what you put in your mouth and exercising regularly. You only live once, no? But in the meantime, leave your skinny friends alone!

< The Road Less Travelled >

2005-02-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

This is the road less travelled- literally. I love this long stretch of pavement near jalan kayu, two stops from where i live. It has been left largely untouched, forsaken and quiet, making it a rare piece of land in this tiny country. The government should stop developing and start planting. Stop felling and start preserving. Take a d.e.e.p breath.

(*Man in question here is kamahl who steps into serendipity. See that mysterious shadow? that's me ;)

2005-02-17T03:12:00.000+08:00

Cast of Hotel Rwanda deserves more than reccomendation! Watch and Be Stirred..

~ Hotel Rwanda ~A GEM of a Movie

2005-02-15T11:23:00.000+08:00

Once in a blue moon, an unforgettable movie comes along and takes your breath away. Hotel Rwanda is one such picture. Filmed in documentary fashion, this movie is a refreshing change from your typical Hollywood blockbuster. Thank God for that.

It is 1994 and Rwanda is experiencing one of it worst ethnic unrest between the Hutus and Tutsis. The story follows the real life account of Paul Ruseabagina (played by Don Cheadle), a house manager, who transforms the hotel into a makeshift refugee camp, saving over a thousand people through his connections while in the meantime, squeezing the last drop of whatever resources left in the hotel. He begs, bribes, spin stories and negotiate in spite of the circumstances to 'buy' the lives he was trying to protect. While doing all that, he somehow found time and perspective to romance his wife in a makeshift wine-and-dine session on the hotel roof-top. (Awwww)

In a particularly poignant scene, Paul repeatedly struggles with his tie (throughout the show, he is well- dressed and portrays a picture of calm and authority despite of the chaos) only to collapse in desperation, allowing his emotions to get the better of him. At this point, I have to say the great acting by Don Cheadle digs into your heart.

While the genocide wiped out more than a million lives over a short three months.. the atrocities went largely unnoticed in the western world, abandoned by those with the power to help. Depending on how you look at it, this could be a tragic story or one of hope and courage of a few rare individuals. To me, it is a potent-mix of both and that's what makes it a compelling watch.

2005-02-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentines Day from Us to You. Chill out and have a blast. Wherever you are.

The ConBird

2005-02-14T16:47:00.000+08:00

One of my pet birds..now don't be deceive by its docile appearance..she is highly aggressive and noisy. She's chinese-educated by the way..she only listens to my Mum's mandarin commands and silly baby coo-coo talk. She likes classical music ( I think)

~Nesting INSTINCTS & A New GENERATION~

2005-02-10T11:18:00.000+08:00

I wonder what birds look for when they select a place to nest. My aunt's 9th-storey balcony must have been prime location cos this bird chose it not once, but thrice! Over the past few weeks, i've seen the nest growing in size and the entry hole perfected. Now, its a mass of feathers, twigs and dead leaves all plastered together by nothing but the canary's saliva. So i've never seen the bird but i've seen her architectural talents and i'm SEVERELY impressed. According to the maid and my aunt, she has just laid two eggs in it and is now guarding the nest, head perpertually stuck outside on the lookout. It small, beautiful and yellow...the canary bird...everybody say owwwww

:: 3 Random Thoughts ::

2005-02-06T18:24:00.000+08:00

I want to share with you three random thoughts..before i forget.

No. 1: I believe in karma. No, i'm not the superstitious sort, but i firmly believe in the notion that what comes around goes around. Don't think that when no one's looking, no one's knowing!

No. 2: My blog is my baby. It's my heroin, cannabis, my addiction. You've been warned: Blogging is highly addictive. Remember the pleasure that is yours? By the way, I don't do drugs.

No. 3: The rosy brooch (below picture) is as large as my palm. I'm a sucker for all sequinned, furry brooches. (fake fur, of course!) Brooches give mileage to your clothes, really! Dont let me see you wearing one, i might just steal it from you.

2005-02-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

Roses are Red,
Violets Are Blue,
My Brooch is Furry,
I love it as much as you!

2005-01-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

On our way to CHC, from left, Eve, Me and Liz...of course, at that time, we had no idea what we were getting into...

~THE BEAUTY OF A BLOG~

2005-01-27T08:17:00.000+08:00

..is that you can write about all things trivial. it's an indulgence..in trivial truth. The way i see it..because i will never lie on my blog. finally, i write what i think. i think what i write. put aside grammar and spelling, put aside flowery language and really, really write.You can make sense but its ok if you don't. gorgeous. you dont have an agenda, a motive. I know i don't. wish i could make a living out of this...will someone pay me to blog? my salary lies in my satisfaction, to see this get publish and to know that somewhere,someone,anyone could be reading this and sharing this moment. Let them into my secret garden of thoughts. leave the big ,boring, important issues to the newspapers..they never tell the truth anymore. the big issues never have solutions anyway. the 'solutions' churn out more and bigger problems anyway. solutions that do not solve. look at the tsunamis crisis, and the aid that came along. total chaos and we've not even heard half of it. vicious cycle. the blues of living in this century, this culture. Our kind really screw up alot.

The beauty of a blog...lies in history. A history you can re-live.Archives, they call it. you can archive back to a moment, an event, a picture, a thought, an opinion, a comment, a phase...and remember for that moment, that feeling you felt. The pleasure that is yours. It's an indulgence. so you express, and then you indulge. Blogs, bloggers, bloggerhood...a culture of its own..

This is my best entry..so far. because i have told you, my honest thoughts about the beauty of a blog.

Learning to Pay Attention All Over Again

2005-01-21T13:19:00.000+08:00

'When Morrie was with you, he was really with you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world...so many people with far smaller problems are so self-absorbed, their eyes glaze over if you speak for more than thirty seconds. They already have something else in mind- a friend to call, a fax to send..'

Adapted from 'Tuesdays with Morrie' by Mitch Albom

2005-01-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

Marcel and Nicole, my closest and fave cousins..Great looking kids arent they? well, it's in the genes pool.

I Am Talking To Myself

2005-01-19T14:16:00.000+08:00

Hello people! If you visit my blog, will you please kindly drop some comments so it doesnt seem like i'm talking to myself? As of now, i feel like the only person reading and writing, like i'm some nutcase talking to myself. If you've a voice, an opinion, state it and post it. Comments, good or bad, nasty or pleasant, are welcome. I dont want this blog to be just about me..( i would have kept a diary.) This blog needs some interaction or we'll have to close shop. A voice..anyone.. write nonsense, whatever. Thank you!!!

2005-01-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

At marche..From left, Rebecca, Me, Charrise, June and Jana.

2005-01-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

experimenting black

2005-01-14T14:13:00.000+08:00

Me in jail-bird-inspired tee. Seen here with my group of primary mates. A bunch i lost touch with many years ago. Charrise on my right. Jana, June and Ellie on my left.

MSNing with Kamahl

2005-01-14T13:51:00.000+08:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Kamahl managed to find some cafe, bless him, that charges only 40 baht for an hour online. that's about $1.50 (SGD) for an hour, flat rate. Now, put that against $120 for an hour on mobile charges.

In any case, it was the first time we ever chatted online. Very backward at this time and age. There was never a need to go online to chat until now, i guess. It went well. I was delighted to see him on MSN.