wedding.bells.are.not.ringing
Hello everybody. Long time no blog.
I think my honeymoon days in the office are over. Since returning from the HK trip, I have been clocking in long hours with lots of work to do and things to learn. I had the chance to moderate my own focus group too! I really enjoy that, drilling people with questions and feel them brainstorming for answers on the most unlikely questions. But I won't go too much into that. That's not what today's entry is about..
No, I'm not getting married nor do I plan to anytime soon. But that does not mean than people around me aren't. The last two years, I've noticed a strange 'fad'. A handful of my friends are tying the knot and settling down with their loved ones. This may not sound strange until I tell you that my friends are just 22- 23 years old. Some of them have recently turned parents!
It is a strange feeling everytime someone I lose touch with calls me up and invites me for her wedding. While I do feel happy for them most of the time, I can't help but wonder what on earth were they thinking? Getting married at 22 or 23 is just so out of my league I find it hard to relate to that. I feel that life is really just beginning at this time now that school has ended and most of us are starting on a career. There're so many things to do, so many places to go, marriage very naturally takes a backseat. Perhaps this is a rather selfish viewpoint, perhaps there are others out there who feel that at 23, he or she is ready to take on the challenges and responsibility of being married. Perhaps so. I really don't know.
Marriage to me is like stepping into another phase, another state of mind. It is not so much the age..I'm using 22-23 as a rough guage here. With parenthood, it gets even more daunting. I admire super Mums who raise superkids (Melissa and Hazel are you reading this?) . I feel that life is so good because they have kids but at the same time, I can't phatom myself in their shoes. I love being around kids but having one is really a very different story. Maybe this story will be different again when I turn of age. But right now, it's simply beyond me.
Fellow bloggers, I'm probably stepping on tender grounds here but I want to know, what are your thoughts on this?
I think my honeymoon days in the office are over. Since returning from the HK trip, I have been clocking in long hours with lots of work to do and things to learn. I had the chance to moderate my own focus group too! I really enjoy that, drilling people with questions and feel them brainstorming for answers on the most unlikely questions. But I won't go too much into that. That's not what today's entry is about..
No, I'm not getting married nor do I plan to anytime soon. But that does not mean than people around me aren't. The last two years, I've noticed a strange 'fad'. A handful of my friends are tying the knot and settling down with their loved ones. This may not sound strange until I tell you that my friends are just 22- 23 years old. Some of them have recently turned parents!
It is a strange feeling everytime someone I lose touch with calls me up and invites me for her wedding. While I do feel happy for them most of the time, I can't help but wonder what on earth were they thinking? Getting married at 22 or 23 is just so out of my league I find it hard to relate to that. I feel that life is really just beginning at this time now that school has ended and most of us are starting on a career. There're so many things to do, so many places to go, marriage very naturally takes a backseat. Perhaps this is a rather selfish viewpoint, perhaps there are others out there who feel that at 23, he or she is ready to take on the challenges and responsibility of being married. Perhaps so. I really don't know.
Marriage to me is like stepping into another phase, another state of mind. It is not so much the age..I'm using 22-23 as a rough guage here. With parenthood, it gets even more daunting. I admire super Mums who raise superkids (Melissa and Hazel are you reading this?) . I feel that life is so good because they have kids but at the same time, I can't phatom myself in their shoes. I love being around kids but having one is really a very different story. Maybe this story will be different again when I turn of age. But right now, it's simply beyond me.
Fellow bloggers, I'm probably stepping on tender grounds here but I want to know, what are your thoughts on this?
posted by compassioNAT at 5:42 PM
15 Comments:
So damn true...I so feel the same about marriage...why do they do it so early...it just adds so much pressure on guys too, you know we finish college, and you are about to start drinkin beer with your lot, and you just realise she wants to tie the weddin knot...
In the last ten years the marriage fad has changed here in the US. People go to school and build foundatiosn before getting married and having kids.Most people are getting married when they are 25 or older, some people in their 30's and 40's.
Hi guys, very nice to hear from you all again. I've been so out of touch with the 'blogging community', i missed that tremendously.
chris, its tough to answer that question because to me there is no ideal age. I can't say that i will definitely get married when i hit 28 for example...i guess i'll know when i'm ready. But i predict it'll be a quite a few years from now!
madhueminem, it's the first time i'm seeing you here. Thanks for popping by. are you speaking from experience here? :)
S.C, that is true, I think in most parts of the world, especially the developed nations, this is what's happening now. People are marrying later in life and bearing fewer kids .In Asia, this is especially evident in countries like Japan and Korea. I guess people are getting more practical and less 'traditional'.
hey thanks for your comments on my blog.I couldn't agree more- sometimes ignorance is bliss.
and on the marriage I think it's a personal choice really.one can never be ready,I think people should get married whenever they feel its the right time to get married regardless of the established norms.You know it deep down when you want to enter the wedlock.
Hey there landed onto your from god knows which blog. Hmm, marriage....22-23 is a big NO if you ask me, im still in grad school and id probably run away if you mention marriage ;) But, 22-23 is the ideal age to start a professional career. The school-boy fascination is no longer there and the adolescent dream bubble bursts. Thats when we really know what we want to do with out lives. I totally share your opinion but I know guys who have been married at age and been very succesful so far. Kids at 23!!! im going to have nightmares now ;)
I agree, 22-23 seems so young for so many to get married! Most of my friends have waited until the 26-27-28 age range, but then have started a new trend. . .pregnant within the first year. If I followed their method I'd be about to pop with child any minute, which is so scary!
Take your time, go at your own speed. If it feels right than go for it. I got married at 24 after graduate school but waited six years before having my first child. My husband was my best friend and we had so much fun together it seemed very natural at the time to get married. I think it is a good thing to live life, travel, work and experience life as a couple before jumping into having kids. It is wonderful to have fun and solidify your relationship with your partner before turning your world upside down with the advent of a baby. You have a good attitude.
I still havent turned of age at 28 even *wink* - (still waiting for Diana walker to join my den *grin*) !!!
U say that at 22-23 ....imagine the last 6-7 years I have seen so many marriages and now I dread one....bcos I feel so out of league :-p. WTH, I have to find new friends for a peaceful "meet at the drinks". Any get together seems like swamped with wives and kids and customary " When is your turn?" and match making for me. Or if at all the guys come with a "permission" they make me feel so sober after the drinks *wink* Gosh !!! I'm addressed to all the kids now as "Uncle" *letting out a Phantom cry*
(Don't mind my 'mass reply'.)
Hi Amy,
To get married between 26-28 definitely sounds better than 22-33 but I totally agree that popping kids out at the first year of marriage is a big no-no! The first two years of marriage should be the honeymoon period for the couple (and the couple alone!)...I think this period is crucial for setting up the stage for the kids later. I'm quite sure it's something you and your hubby can relate to :)
Hi Melissa,the best part of being married is that you get to share all these adventures with your loved one. Thank you for highlighting that! I think you've made pretty wise life decisions...to wait six years for your kids is a long time, but if it means setting the foundation right with hubby,then the wait is well worth it. Because your kids will benefit from that too when they eventually come along. When it comes to big life events like that, timing is everything! How is it that you got all that figured out (at 24!)??
Haha phantom, I have no idea what in the world a 'phantom' cry sounds like! I see you've a very different set of marriage issues here..you're concern with finding new drinking buddies and being referred to as Uncle :) I picture you to be leading the life of a swinging bachelor with marriage as the last thing on your mind... Anyway, 28 is young for a guy. Take your time..i'm sure eventually you'll meet someone good enough to join you in your den.
Hi wookie-yes, getting married is a very personal choice. There is no right age to get hitched..it's a state of mind. I'm using 22-23 as a guage here but I am skeptical that most people (with the exception of a rare few who met their 'Mr/Mrs Right' early on their life) will be will be ready for that kind of commitment in their early 20s. I feel that many people jump into marriage thinking they're ready for it, only to find out otherwise. That is painful!
Hi sensiblystoned (I feel funny referring to you as that!), am glad you landed here.I've not met anyone who is married at 23 with kids and are very successful. They must be juggling 200 balls all at once! How many of us are capable of that at 23? (Kids at 23 gives me the shudders too!!!)
Hi. This is a quote ( & a pun ) that is oft used - Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence! In India, there is tremendous sea change in attitudes towards marriage. With entry level graduates making tonnes of money in the BPO and software sector and in general, the growing affluence of the middle class has prompted many to rethink on their priorities of life. Certainly, for many, marriage does not seem to figure in that list. People want to enjoy their hard earned money, travel and see the world etc. Also, getting the right partner is a critical factor, it seems unlike the olden days when boys/girls meekly accepted whatever match the parents proposed! In a way, all this is nice...certainly independence and freedom will not be easily given up, it seems. But the flip side of starting of marrying late and starting a family even later has its own set of hazards! My two cents! ;)
Yes, Ravi, something has to give. If you marry early, you have to be prepared to sacrifice your freedom and independence esp when kids come in the picture...marrying late bring its own set of problems..It's a matter of weighing your options right? Like you correctly mentioned..it all depends on your life priorities. Tough but important decision!
Rest assured I didn't have everything figured out at 24...I had the good fortune to bump into my current husband at an early age and then I just went with the flow. Being married is never easy! There is a lot that needs to be figured out when it comes to two people cohabitating and making a life together. Feelings get hurt, expectations need to be managed etc., etc., just got to keep those lines of communication open and LAUGH A LOT! In some ways my husband is the exact opposite of me....and in some ways were are soooo alike. You just have to find that one person that you can fall in love with and also like a lot too! : )
same thing happenin here.. same sighs.. hate it! and talk about becoming parents.. freaks me out BIG time!!
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