On our way to CHC, from left, Eve, Me and Liz...of course, at that time, we had no idea what we were getting into...

~THE BEAUTY OF A BLOG~

..is that you can write about all things trivial. it's an indulgence..in trivial truth. The way i see it..because i will never lie on my blog. finally, i write what i think. i think what i write. put aside grammar and spelling, put aside flowery language and really, really write.You can make sense but its ok if you don't. gorgeous. you dont have an agenda, a motive. I know i don't. wish i could make a living out of this...will someone pay me to blog? my salary lies in my satisfaction, to see this get publish and to know that somewhere,someone,anyone could be reading this and sharing this moment. Let them into my secret garden of thoughts. leave the big ,boring, important issues to the newspapers..they never tell the truth anymore. the big issues never have solutions anyway. the 'solutions' churn out more and bigger problems anyway. solutions that do not solve. look at the tsunamis crisis, and the aid that came along. total chaos and we've not even heard half of it. vicious cycle. the blues of living in this century, this culture. Our kind really screw up alot.

The beauty of a blog...lies in history. A history you can re-live.Archives, they call it. you can archive back to a moment, an event, a picture, a thought, an opinion, a comment, a phase...and remember for that moment, that feeling you felt. The pleasure that is yours. It's an indulgence. so you express, and then you indulge. Blogs, bloggers, bloggerhood...a culture of its own..

This is my best entry..so far. because i have told you, my honest thoughts about the beauty of a blog.

Learning to Pay Attention All Over Again

'When Morrie was with you, he was really with you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world...so many people with far smaller problems are so self-absorbed, their eyes glaze over if you speak for more than thirty seconds. They already have something else in mind- a friend to call, a fax to send..'

Adapted from 'Tuesdays with Morrie' by Mitch Albom

Marcel and Nicole, my closest and fave cousins..Great looking kids arent they? well, it's in the genes pool. 

I Am Talking To Myself

Hello people! If you visit my blog, will you please kindly drop some comments so it doesnt seem like i'm talking to myself? As of now, i feel like the only person reading and writing, like i'm some nutcase talking to myself. If you've a voice, an opinion, state it and post it. Comments, good or bad, nasty or pleasant, are welcome. I dont want this blog to be just about me..( i would have kept a diary.) This blog needs some interaction or we'll have to close shop. A voice..anyone.. write nonsense, whatever. Thank you!!!

At marche..From left, Rebecca, Me, Charrise, June and Jana.  

experimenting black 

Me in jail-bird-inspired tee. Seen here with my group of primary mates. A bunch i lost touch with many years ago. Charrise on my right. Jana, June and Ellie on my left. 

MSNing with Kamahl

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Kamahl managed to find some cafe, bless him, that charges only 40 baht for an hour online. that's about $1.50 (SGD) for an hour, flat rate. Now, put that against $120 for an hour on mobile charges.

In any case, it was the first time we ever chatted online. Very backward at this time and age. There was never a need to go online to chat until now, i guess. It went well. I was delighted to see him on MSN.

Greedy Coporate Dogs

I am alarmed to find out the exhuberant rates some service providers here charge for auto roaming (international) calls. $2/min to nearby thailand, and that's the lowest rates apparently. This does not include the cost of the worldcard. Absolutely insane. Good thing we found out earlier or we'll easily chalk up a several hundreds in phone bills alone. I'll rather use the money to feed the strays in my void deck. Pun intended.

Sorry, the Editor's Busy

As of tomorrow, it would be one week since i sat for the written test at Today. The wait has been nothing short of agonizing. Impatient and laden with anxiety, i called the HR department. Janet answered. "The editor's busy. He has not gotten back to me. Wait a few more days. You should know by end week or early next week. There are other applicants and he has to vet through all these tests."

It's Good to Have You Back

Remember Lenny from a few postings ago? well, i spoke to him on MSN today. After so many years of not being in touch, it was nothing short of surreal talking to him again. of course, things are alot different now. We've matured. ( the last time we spoke, i was 16 or 17 and severely childish. i still am.) He for one, is getting married this June and I am very happy for him.

Infact, jan 2005 has seen me crossed several social-milestones. Besides getting back in touch with Lenny and Jim, I met up with my gang of primary schoolmates (including Charrise, June, Huiping and Tingli) and chatted online with friends from secondary school, drama club members- Cain (Trowa) and Zhi Hao. (Thank you for this thing call Friendster) If ever, any of you, visit this blog, please know that i am absolutely delighted to hear from you again. It feels like Lost-And-Found. Friendship regained is friendship sweetened.

A Dying Breed (of Songs)

The young ones,
Darling, we're the young ones
And the youngs ones,
Shouldnt be afraid
To live life
While the flame is strong
Cos the young ones
Wouldnt be young
Very long

(tell me, why dont people sing like that anymore?)

There's Got To Be A Way

The interview yesterday at Freshfields Drew & Napier was a refreshing experience. Lasting no more than 20 minutes, the British lady, Liz and Christine made me feel easy with their free flow of chat and polite comments. Liz, in particular, was striking with her blond crop and tall frame. Both women, in their thirties, i reckoned, were well groomed and had great poise. Just watching them, i forgot i was suppose to impress them. i actually felt very comfortable... and they were more interested in me than i was with the job scope. Excellent.

Almost 3 hours later, i was at Millward Brown, seated on a cushy sofa with Tiffany and what-was-her-name-again. So we went thru the casual yahda yahda...both ladies were a few years my senior, also in their twenties so naturally, we related well. Again, it was extremely comfortable and i just went with the flow. Monday, i'll know.

Ironically, despite the adrenline and positive vibes from both companies, it made me realised just how badly i wanted the reporter job at Today Newspaper. It just dawned on me squarely that no way was i going to stay long in a desk bound job. i am simply too restless...a desk bound job will surely rob me of my youthful enthusiasm and before long, i would surely turn into one of those jaded-but-got-no-choice-than-to-stay-on executive. You know those with a so-so comfortable salary, in a so-so company...No way! i can definitely see how easy it would be to get suck into a career trap like that and honestly, it scares the hell outta me.. i just cannot imagine splurging all these years in this kindda fashion. There's gotta be some way. Do you share my views? Do you have a way?

A Second Interview & A Friend From A Long Time Ago

Tiffany from Millward Brown called. Let me jog your memory..I applied for a position as research assistant there. A second round of interview. Guess that's really good news for me. No news so far from Today. Well it could be a good or a bad thing, at least, they hadn't called to reject me =)

Lenny, a charming eurasian i knew from a long time ago got in touch with me recently. Actually i wrote him an email first, only half expecting a reply since we lost touch more than 5 years ago. The last time i heard from him, he was engaged to his lovely fiance..now, they are probably married with kids. Throw in a car and a house to complete that picture.

It still didnt change the fact that his email really took me by surprise. I just never thought i'll ever hear from him or Jim again. That social dot is finally expanding alittle.

Evelyn Liu- To whom this blog is dedicated to. Thank You for getting me started babe. 

So here goes: the good-natured-chap-of-a-boyfriend you'll hear alot of. Stay tuned.
Meet Me and Kamahl

A Social Dot

Mine's not a social circle..but a dot. A tight, niche, little dot. Once surrounded by friends, my social circle has since dwindled into a non- existing mode. Funny thing is, you don't realise it unti your boyfriend leaves town for a month and gosh! you feel stranded..especially when weekends come around.

I don't need alot of friends..just a couple of solid, sturdy ones. And I'm fortunate to know people like that. My friend Liz is sentimental without her knowing it. How many friends do you buy cakes for your mum and rally around you, more anxious than you are, in times of need. If you know someone like that, keep them close to your heart. Cos they are far and few in between.

And then I've my primary and secondary schools friends. They say the people you meet in secondary school are your friends for life. It's true..and false. I've met nice-and-not-so-nice people in my seconday school. Some memorable but most are forgettable. Again, I'm fortunate that I can count a handful of great people amongst them. Sometimes that's all you need.

An Uneasy Week Is Over

The coming week will reveal some much anticipated news for me. will i get to work as a reporter? will Today accept me? Will Millward Brown invite me for a second round of interview as a research assistant? I have no answers. All i know is that i want to settle down into some kind of full-time job.To stop wasting time. Meet colleagues, make friends, devote into something meaningful. To explore my interests and set myself on the right career track. Have you ever wanted a job this bad it keeps you awake at night?

Boyfriend Kamahl has been really patient. The day he was due to fly for military training, he accompanied me down to Clifford Centre for my written test ( TODAY newspaper)...Almost running late for the appointment, I chided him for taking so long to get ready. Nowthat he's in some remote jungle, starving and hardly keeping warm, I feel awful for having raided him on something as trivial as this.

First Dwelling

This blog is a result of boredom. i don't even keep a diary so why would i publicly write one? bored of my idling mind..i want to give this a try. who's going to read? you must be damm bored. like me?

close friend evelyn liu prompted me too. her blog's interesting...its moody too. not dark, just moody. so evelyn, this is for you. thank you for dedicating your creative-gallery-like blog to me.

The next time any of you visit..i hope i've something interesting in store for u.